Besides rambling on about nineties basketball, or how the United States is a big pile of shit, my expertise lies in shorts. These half-pants have been beloved by me for most of my life, and I’ve even quit jobs over them. While some may can advise on a better pattern or color, I’m pretty confident in my knowledge of shorts to help you find a new pair for the summer. So, without further ado…

Stussy 2 Tone Reversible Shorts – For those that enjoy “slumming it,” the 2 Tone Reversible Shorts from Stussy is perfect for the summer. They’re the perfect lounge shorts with the use of heavyweight mesh, and who can’t appreciate the fact that you reverse it to a different colorway when one gets all nasty from taco sauce. What I particularly like is that the labeling and branding for the colors are different. This is something that Nike did in the ’90s, and it makes these shorts feel as if you own two separate pairs. Throw in that wide back pocket for keys or wallet, and you got a solid winner for a week of couch surfing.

Source: Stussy

RVCA Easy-As Shorts – The guys from RVCA have been supporting the MMA scene for a long minute, and they know their way around the weight room. These Easy-As Shorts are for all the dudes out there that like their squats and dead-lifts. If you have some tree trunks for legs then you’ll appreciate the generous cuts in the thigh from these shorts. The color-blocking at the drawstring waist gives the shorts a sporty gym vibe, and the subtle tag by the left pocket is perfect for dudes that want to keep it low-key.

Source: RVCA

ASOS Stretch Slim Denim Shorts – I kinda feel like denim shorts went out with the portable CD player in the late nineties, but ASOS is making a strong case for these cut-off dungarees. It begins with a dark wash that makes it a nice contrast to the traditional weathered stonewash-look, and its then rounded our by the slim cut. Giving it a tapered fitted finish gives the casual look a slight upgrade, and throwing some stretch into the denim makes it comfortable for all-day wear.

Source: ASOS

{illustrated example Chino Shorts – I hated these shorts at first. I threw them on and felt as if the leg openings were constricting my thighs; like Jake “The Snake” Roberts was putting a sleeper hold on my knees. Basically, if you’re the type to NOT skip leg days, then you’re going to have a bad time. But goddamn, the reaction was instant. Besides getting the blessing from the GF, I got a couple of strangers asking me about the shorts. Personally, I wish these were cut a little more relaxed, but I can’t deny the fact that random dudes were asking me where I copped. And, as always, the finish and construction from {illustrated example is on point.

Source: Livestock

Volcom Fruckin Drip-Dry Shorts – These Fruckin Drip-Dry shorts make my girlfriend physically ill. But she’s a born hater, so listen to why I love ’em. These are part of Volcom’s Surf & Turf series where they take textiles meant for the beach and apply it to a conventional style. While people like my girlfriend hate the fact that these shorts resemble swim trunks, I revel in how comfortable they are. The shorts are incredibly lightweight, have an awesome stretch, and they’re quick-drying. Just imagine a pair of your favorite boardshorts, but cut like a regular pair of chino shorts.

Source: Volcom

Patagonia Baggies – I know these look like something pops would wear, but I swear that these shorts from Patagonia will never fail you. Whether you’re jumping into a river or eating a burrito on a street corner, these Baggies will treat you right. Patagonia has been making these exact shorts for decades because they just fuckin’ work. I own two pairs of these puppy dogs, and I wear them everywhere because they’re incredible comfortable and can do it all. Using a super sturdy Supplex nylon these shorts have a quick-drying mesh liner and a elasticized drawstring. Since they work just as well in the water as they do on land, I find myself grabbing these for the gym nearly every time. A quick run on the treadmill before a dip in the pool, and I don’t have to change.

Source: Patagonia

Dickies Work Shorts – Word of warning here, you buy the wrong size and you got yourself a pair of capris. These things can run long, so make sure you get the 10″ inseam or the 11″. Assuming you got the right inseam, these work shorts from Dickies are the tits. I always find it funny when kids are fiending to pay $110 for a pair of work shorts from Supreme when they can grab these Dickies from the swap meet for 20 bucks. They have the same construction, and both have a polyester and cotton blend. That polyester is what makes these Work Shorts different from the other shorts on the list. It’s not soft to the touch as 100% cotton, but it can go longer between washes and a lot of stains seem to dust right off. You don’t have to be hustling in the garage or mowing the lawn to enjoy these work shorts. Pair these with a crispy white Kirkland tee and a pair of low-cut Chuck Taylors and you’re straight.

Source: Dickies

The Hundreds Sander Shorts – If you think quality is associated with weight, then you’re going to love what The Hundreds did here. The Sander Shorts are the illest when it comes to combining style and comfort. While the Patagonia Baggies and the Volcom Fruckin Drip-Dry are ultra-comfy, they can also have you mistaken for a hobo. The Sander Shorts straddle that fine line perfectly with a nice 380gsm knitted cotton, front slash pockets, and a tidy drawstring waistband. The Sander has a generous leg opening, and are cut just above the knee so that you look like a contributing member of society. Those who appreciate subtle branding will also enjoy the discreet woven logo on the side seam.

*These, too, were girlfriend approved.

Source: The Hundreds

Uniqlo Men Twill Shorts – These are some sneaky shorts that my girlfriend loathes. But, by the time she finds out that I’m wearing the same shorts I went to sleep with, we’re already on our way home. These Twill Shorts from Uniqlo look like a regular pair of chino shorts, but in lieu of a button and zipper, you get a elastic drawstring waist. GENIUS! I find myself lounging in these shorts the most because… ELASTIC WAIST. It’s like wearing a pair of twill underwear; they’re that comfortable. It also comes equipped with two side pockets and one back pocket; making it perfect for a quick trip to Target. I hate having to change clothes solely because I’m to be met by people, and these are one of the few shorts that doesn’t make you look like you either stepped out of the gym, or just got out of bed. They’re basically pajama pants you can wear out.

Source: Uniqlo

Rothco Camo BDU Shorts – For a number of seasons, camouflage and cargo pockets went hand-in-hand. While every streetwear brand has their version of this summer staple, Rothco supplies the fucking United States of America! As one of the military suppliers to the U.S. Armed Forces, Rothco makes these shorts in a load of camo patterns, plus they make them cheap. It’s the economies of scale right at work, and the best part is that if they can be worn while dodging bullets in Iraq, then they can sure as hell handle your stroll down to PacSun. Using a durable cotton and polyester blend these twill shorts can handle all sorts of abuse, and since skinny fucks and fat fucks are all welcome to join the military, there are additional waist tab adjustments. My only gripe is that it’ll take a while to find the right fit, and sometimes it’s much easier to go for a fashion conscious brand. But for the price, these are hard to beat.

Source: Rothco

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