Surviving Hard Times
And How to Thrive Again

I think the greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing us we’re alone in our darkest moments. Of course, the rational side says No, that’s impossible. There are billions of people in the world and surely someone has survived this or is going through this with me. Yet, hard times are where nothing makes sense and the room feels empty and upside down.

So, first, I’d like you to know you’re not alone. Although our problems may be different, I’ve felt searing pain and suffered heartache. I’ve collapsed under stress and fear. And I’ve known hopelessness, the deepest kind.

Although undiagnosed for most of my youth, I have endured bouts of depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. They often visit when I least expect them and if the circumstances are aligned just right (or wrong), these seasons can pull the rug out from under me. I know that I portray a certain inspirational story through much of my public narrative, but there is an undercurrent of emotional struggle beneath the surface. I’ve learned to live with it and around it, but sometimes the tide boils over and sweeps me away. And the only thing I can do is acknowledge that it’s happening, and I’m submerged and that I’ll be on dry land soon.

The first thing we can do – the one thing in our control – is recognize when those hard times hit and see them clearly for what they are. There is no shame in admitting that we are experiencing a low and that we could use some help. We can reach out to our communities, whether that means family and friends or classmates. I encourage you to leave your house and get involved with physical gatherings of people (a hobby group, church, basketball pick-up game) and if you can access them, therapists. I’ve been in therapy for much of my adult life and I see it as like going to the gym for my brain. It kinda feels like I have been collecting found items in my head and these sessions allow me to lay everything out on the table and organize them. Like unwinding tangled earphones. If you can’t afford therapy, there are plenty of free services available online. I encourage you to give it a try.

It might not be for you, but I also suggest meditation. For the uninitiated, there are apps like Headspace and Calm that can guide you through a mindfulness routine. If I’m going through a rough patch, it’s usually because I’d rather be somewhere else. I had imagined my life going a different way, I set expectations for myself that were broken. Regardless, my mind is living somewhere else, distracted by a fantasy or an unmet goal. Meditation grounds me in the present moment and cleaves these distractions. It slows things down and helps me to concentrate on living one day at a time.

Finally, we should be patient and gentle with ourselves. And be reminded that life is a series of thriving and surviving. Nobody knows how long those windows will last, but one thing’s for sure: They’re always temporary. Nothing lasts forever, the highs and the lows eventually even out. So, hold fast to your loved ones and listen hard to yourself. Sometimes it takes some time.

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TEXT BOBBY :: (323) 310-2844

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