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OCEAN'S 69

OCEAN'S 69

By Bobby Hundreds

Some last-minute Las Vegas stories..

So when I got into Sin City this week, I texted Dave Choe “Yo, u in Vegas?” He replied, “Where else would I be?”

I went up to his room at the Wynn where he was staying with his personal lucky charm Harry (director of Dave’s documentary Dirty Hands). If you don’t know this by now, Dave is not only a world famous artist, but a gambling phenom. They give him this luxury box for free just to come and gamble at the hotel, and this is what he does with it (yes, that’s porn everywhere).

Everything you need to survive in Vegas.

I was like, “What’s this? A cracked lobster tail?” Dave said “No, it’s a vibrating (noun) and don’t touch it, because Harry just (verb – past tense) it.”

And this? A glass of Sprite stuffed with gummi worms. Why? “Have YOU ever seen what happens to gummi worms if they’re sitting in Sprite for a week?” No… “I haven’t either and I wanna know what happens.”

Safe strawberries.

Dave and his captions.

It was Dave and Harry’s last night in the city and they needed to tally up their chips from owning at the Black Jack and baccarat tables. He opened the safe and tossed me one of these.

and then started laying out the rest… (in case you don’t get it, there are 21 more of those brown ones alone).

Dave and Harry leave Vegas a few hours later and leave me the suite to myself. He texts me, “The room is yours, only rules are you can’t touch the furniture sculptures, clean the porn littered around the room, and you have to tell me how the gummi worm experiment ends. Also, you have $600 left on room service.”

So that night I invite everyone back to the room at 5am and in half an hour it looks like that banquet scene in Hook, with the Rufio character and all.

And after all that, I forgot to report how the experiment ended before I checked out in the morning. I’m such a jerk.

by bobbyhundreds

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