Monthly Archives: August 2012

First you write the creative. Then you do a read through. Even in the read through they want you to do it in the voice of your character. Except when I read for handicap gay kleptomaniac they tell me to do it in my real voice…

Then you bring your creative to a place like FOX studios to see it brought to life. Or have it taken from you and edited and changed until its an unrecognizable symbol of humiliation with your name written on it.

Palm trees are not native to this region, but need barely anything to survive. Like that kid Carlos that works at Hall of Fame.

See Bobby Hundreds? I told you Christina works with me now! 

Professional photo bomber and actor, this guy, helped ruin the next few photos.

It’s like you’re in New York, but you are in Century City… crazy. On ROB: The Hundreds Public Label K9 SS Henley.

Permanent memorials to the people that pay the bills around here. There is also a bronze pink doughnut.

An original Matt Groening in Al Hirschfeld style.

Then you perform what you created.

Then you win an award.

Blogging was easy today. Instead of pounding the pavement looking for the story, the post came to me! Mostly because when I woke up my car keys where no where to be found, apparently I let someone “use” them at a calm, unimpressive social meet. Speaking of keys, Corey Shapiro, of wearing sunglasses fame, got a new set.

This is a 1979 Cadillac Seville by GUCCI. Yes it came from the factory this way. It was designed by fellow egoist Aldo Gucci. In keeping with Corey’s current theme of collecting anything designer, high end, ostentatious, vainglorious, or all around awesome, Corey flew from his home planet of Montreal to purchase the only factory produced pimp wagon.

Horse bits for the horse power. The V8 is standard, the lean is an option. I’m not sure if that joke makes even a tiny bit of sense.

Gucci, known for it’s subtlety, clearly.

Rest your neck on these GUCCI inspired headrests. The armrests get little use because you have some many people to wave to.

This is about as close to a headliner as I’ll ever get. That’s called an “allusion”, a literary device used to stimulate ideas, associations, and extra information.

“No don’t cover the entire roof with the print, just the C-pillar, because that’s the only place fabric on the exterior of an automobile looks natural.”

If you have been following this blog for the more than 3 years of excitement and learning, you may remember Corey being featured several times. Corey owns and operates Vintage Frames the premier antique spectacle wholesaler. Any time you see a magazine cover being person, or a photo from the ’80s you can expect the crazy sunglasses were supplied by Corey. The license plate says “Yes Yall” if you didn’t notice.

Old and busted: precious metal bezel. New Hottness: wood used in Voldermort’s wand.

Corey Shapiro’s chain, famous for wearing sunglasses and having a similar appearance to the chains wearer. If the wearer had diamond pupils, medusa hair, and was made out of solid 14k gold*.

*having zero actual facts is one of my favorite parts of blogging.

There is not enough information about micro or baby jesus pieces on the internet. So I will attempt to create some. These VS2 encrusted lord heads are perfect if you are just a little religious. Cars and chains this blog is starting to look like DUB magazine!

It’s time to get serious about America. Camilla D was in town from Melbourne and Loz from NYC so they demanded dinners, drinks, and Uber cabs.

Oh my gay god… I think I just found the birthplace of every tumblr page.

All you can eat Warren Buffet.

No… I said Peonies in the Hermes vase, chrysanthemum’s in the tiffany dog bowl. Don’t let it happen again.

A sustainable dinner with unstable people. Everyone asked me to say my TED talk… Nathaniel Ru turns to me and says, “You spoke at TED also?” (file under most sophiticated gangster thing ever said.)

Loz is a master of facial manipulation and reppin’ brands. See you in Montauk.

Having a cherry popping summer.

Our host Matt cooked, served, and soliloquy’d while wearing a tank top at the same time.

One of these girls went to Duke, the other was bite by a horse. #whitepeopleproblems

Not Vegas, not caring. Who gon stop me?

Owner of Concepts and soon to be pissed when he sees this post, Deon Point brought my friends to L.A. “I only have one rule.” he says. “No Veuve.”

Accommodations provided by Le Petit Ermitage. The place to stay… if you are petite!

You can take the bum out of Boston… here we see Deon and trusted lackey Derek Curry accusing a homeless vagrant of stealing his sunglasses. With photographic evidence of the Bum wearing Deon’s sunglasses the night before.

Getting fucked out of a cheers… that’s a first.

Looks like someone is telling an incredible story… but it’s not me... which is an incredbile story in itself. (Derek looks like Popeye)

NO Deon DON’T! You said NO Vueve!!!

Jesus Christ what happened?!

Unimpressed Rothwieler

We definitely didn’t go to a gay bar. That didn’t happen. Wait, Brittney was there? Someone must have erased the scandalous photo I had of her… 

Still reporting from my origin, Dan Weisman and his amazing family invited us to their Cape Cod getaway. Dan has invited all of his friends but I’m only the second person to make the trek out to Chatham Mass. Which is recently in the news because the townspeople are freaking out about sharks. Jaws was filmed in the area, but I don’t think anyone told the locals it wasn’t real. This bridge was named after Spungie’s pants… Sagamore.

Oh sweet we are here. Chatham is one of the more exclusive, popular towns on the Cape. Perhaps you are familiar with the movie Summer Catch? It was filmed here, and produced by Dan’s father Sam Weisman. If you don’t click the link to Sam’s name then you won’t know he is an insanely accomplished director. Every heard of Mighty Duck? George of the Jungle? Maybe you encountered one of 70 episodes of Family Ties? Maybe you were the only other person in the theater when I paid to see Dicky Roberts?

Dan likes to escape the L.A. monotony and run his businesses from the safety of Lighthouse Beach for most of the summer. How did he get so handsome and chivalrous? Maybe his superstar mother Constance had something to do with that.

The executive profile location is without question Chatham Bars Inn. This sacrificial alter is built to steam ocean creatures alive. Also known as a clambake.

Can you spot: Yellow Bic Lighter. Celine Bag. 3 pina coladas. Akward gang sign.

Things just keep looking up for Daddy. What’s next? Speaking at TED?

What is a Seasonnaire? Basically the best teenager job since the Loon Mountain ski lift operator. Jack Wills a british brand that has recently set up pop up shops at all the wasp coast. If you get picked to manage the store you also get to drive around in the vert stripe Defender.

Hey Nick Schonberger, I think our Vineyard pop up shop idea is still valid.

No… it’s a pheasant wearing a top hat holding a cane. Said Sebastian.

Nantucket, Newport, Martha’s Vineyard and wherever South Hampton is, are all beach towns you can find Jack Wills… the brand that is whiter than Seal’s dreams!

Is that Dan Weisman? Is that a girl you can almost see down her shirt? At the same damn time?

Chatham party pants. Your welcome ladies.

This was the day I got this close to a bunny while eating ice cream at the same time.

I think this is the first wedding I have ever been invited to… For the first time in almost 4 years I traveled back to the town that created me and the people that helped mould me. I wasn’t born there but it’s what I claim as my hometown on Facebook. Pepperell Massachusetts.

The promise to a higher power that Colin Cook and Kristen Cook were made for each other seemed like a good excuse to party. Kristen will have their first son in December, Colin will be winning the Ironman competition in Hawaii around the same time.

I have a daughter that some say looks like me.

Jeff Cronstrom made himself available for the event. If you thought I am just brilliant from my own doing you have to blame this guy and the following offenders.

Coach Mike Foley was there. Safe to say the Pepperell youth soccer kids slept well that night.

I really hope that’s cake.

Corey Wilson is a champion.

These two legends have lived 5 lifetimes. Their next one will be even more unbelievable than the previous.

Johnny Graves photographs well… and owns 70 acres of land on Nantucket. True story,

A fake I.D. any parent wold be proud of.

Baaahhhtelsunn!

Legend Jamie Baker. Oakley eyejackets to a wedding… well done sir.

Legendary Steve Pappas.

Keeping the dream alive. Steve Morrisey. Champion.

Tracy Shattuck.  Of the Pepperell Shattucks. (not shown Chris Law)

Oh right, it’s your party, not mine. Same smile, same DNA. Kristen and Rachael formerly known as Rood.

… and there was much rejoicing.

Thank you Colin for being a good friend, brother, and evidence that there are still good people in this world.

Colin’s brother Jeff owns and operates the towns only sign and web design shop, Sites and Signs. This was my first job when I was released from… school.

After the reception Jeff does what you do after any important gathering… Grabs his Harley and burns the tire off.

That’s just what we do, don’t try to understand it, just wish you could do it.

1000 words.

Conveyor dryer.

The next time you see any Cook’s on the blog we will be in Costa Rica.

If you didn’t know, daddy went back to Boston for a few days. One of my priorities was to visit my very good friends at the very established brand RAW. Steve Costello and Kevin Susienka’s life mission.  They live and personify skateboarding more than anyone I know.  And I know a lot of important people that care about skateboarding. I met Steve while working at Concepts since around 2005.  He could be the only person more bitter than me. We took pride in not selling products to herbs.

Established in 2006, RAW focuses on creating locally themed products for local skaters. This is the first time i’ve been able to visit because you have no idea how fucking busy I am.

Little known fact: the “ROB” logo for this blog is inspired by the “RAW” logo, spacing and font. And no you can’t unknow that.

They only carry brands they actually wear and skate in every day.

I didn’t see Kevin around.  He must be busy.

Steve also has a pension for building. He builds all his stores… oh yeah I forgot to mention.  There is a second RAW location in Connecticut. Steve can do man shit like make stuff with his hands. I skated this ramp switch.

Steve and I.  I’ll let you imagine who is who.

Meanwhile on Newbury street.  Tamie is speaking about subsonic bloodflow with some MIT engineer.

At a place that sells 12 inch long (pause) lobster rolls. Now that’s RAW.