Monthly Archives: February 2012

If you are into forms of communicative expression, or are a pathetic art groupie you would have LOVED to be in L.A. this weekend.  King of all hipsters, fashion photographer Terry Richardson had his opening and all of Hollywood showed up.

This is the inside of the OH WOW gallery. Everyone is so happy.

I was driving down Washington Blvd in Venice last fall, talking on the phone with Mac, and I said, “Oh there is Terry Richardson taking a picture of the strip club sign. I wanted to take a picture of him taking a picture, but I was over it and went back to talking shit about everyone in advertising. Herbs.

This is the second best picture anyone has taken at this event.

This is the best picture.

You are right, I totally would have said “no” to the question, does YSL make adult onesies?

Os Gemeos at my close personal friends Prism Gallery.  This was the favorite and most important event to the art community this week. The show was titled “I miss you”, but please do not take it personally.

Just gimme da light.

He has a dog house on his head.  Get it?!

The entire show was sold out before it opened. Lance Armstrong bought this one… ask me how I know!

Australian artist Anthony Lister premiered his unmistakeable style at the New Image Art gallery which my iPhone told me is on the corner of Santa Monica and Fairfax.

The ballerina was a constant theme through out the show.

Oh look who it is, Destiny! Every brands favorite model and Mr. Lister’s muse for the tiny dancers in the work.

John Marshall aka M3 (Money, Mackin’ and Murda) Triple T, Teresa Tran… the 2nd most powerful person I know.

Jim Darling rekindling with the Art Basel bromance Galo and Chaz.

Some people might feel organizing a group shot just for the flash to make the girls shirt see-thru is overkill… I’m not one of those people.

New app that shows your feminine side.

Check out the dude in the back that is fully taking advantage of the fact he looks like Jeremy Lin.

Last night was a soft opening for a powerful new eatery on restaurant row, Plan Check. Powerful is not the word to use when describing a restaurant but I can’t stop saying it. If the mighty Teresa Tran and powerful Sarah Cirkiel invite you somewhere, you do not ignore it.

All free everything helped keep the annihilated every night streak continue for the third straight week!

I was honored to discover I was the first person to order Hendricks.  I’d like to thank everyone involved that helped make this possible. My ex wife. Syria, especially my low morals and hopeless place.

Godzilla and Tropic Thunder.

Triple T and Sarah Cirkiel… what is this CEO day?

Going H.A.M.burger.

My hair and Australian footwear designer Tamie Ingham.

I housed it.

You don’t have to ask Yasi how good this place is! 25 sitting on 25 ….million views!

Thank you Plan Check, you will get me next time!

Limited to 1 of 7 billion, the creator is making calcium deposits in the shape of human brain boxes. So I want to decorate my office with some real hood shit. Something people would walk in and be like… “Oh damn, is that a full size replica Giraffe skeleton, spray-painted gold?” So, there are a bunch of bone and skeleton sites out there that sell everything. As you can see from the photo above inspired by Brad Pitt’s ex-wife in the movie 7, you are looking at a for real human skull. Gold caps, silver fillings, even a rotten tooth. Skulls Unlimited can pretty much supply you with any kind of brainbox you are into. A hummingbird skull, a Northern Elephant Seal, or a two headed baby with a softspot. In order to fully experience this dead head boutique, I had to make a purchase.

Now human skulls come with restrictions. Randoms can’t just go buying peoples domes and getting all weird with them. You have to be a criminal investigator, doctor, dentist, professor, or a student in any of these fields… what am I you ask?

Skull getting filthy from all that skullduggery? No it’s cool, the jaw comes off for easy cleaning. This dude must have been a boss, or at least had a decent insurance with a low co-pay.

Just as most of us hope to die… listening to Dr. Dre.

Now what do I do with it? Leave it in the Burbank Jet Blue terminal after Francisco fucked up my flight this week? Have the bitchen’est Hamlet costume this Halloween?  Set it on fire, and charge people $5 at Comicon to meet Ghostrider’s depressed little brother? Most likely I’ll just keep it on my bureau and keep doing what it tells me.

Do you remember where you were when Whitney Houston died? Derek Curry, owner of Sneaker Politics was in a sketchy convenient store in Vegas.

“Was I seriously crane kicking all night?”

Deon and Brittney arrived just in time.

Every time we seemed to sober up just enough…

… shit kept getting more awesome.

Having been friends with Derek for as long as I can remember I always forget how awesome he is. This non stop party was so out of control I’m not sure it could be recreated, but that will not prevent us from trying… erry day, erry day.

The color of that purse will be the color of of the summer, mark my words.

Door Knob

Magic tricks all night, making money disappear.

I didn’t know Kid Cudi and Akon had a baby?!

After Deon tried paying the cabbie with, “that shit from Zelda” he kicked us out.

Rottweiler

Mr. Green Jeans and the Go Harder set.

I WISH!

I have a suspect addiction to Birkin bags. Although I am not secure enough to carry a purse, any lady that i accessorize my life with will be carrying one.  If you don’t know the deal with these, here is the two minute summary. Hermes is the French high fashion brand that makes Gucci look like Sketchers. Jane Birkin an English singer/actress/hottie who’s inability to keep her shit off the floor, got the most sought after and expensive bag named after her. The next best part about this bag is that it is unattainable. You can’t just roll into Hermes with mommies platinum Amex and be like it tag poppin time. You have to spend enough every month in the store to get the managers attention, then they “invite” you to purchase whatever they have available. You don’t get to pick the purple croc as your first one.  One of these bags is fake, one is real.  Can you guess which is which? Snitch.

You can’t touch the leather but I assure you it is very high end. You can compare the hardware all you want, you won’t see any discrepancies.

How the fuck does the inside of a purse get so nasty? The starting price of a Birkin is is around $10,000. When people ask, “Rob why do you care so much about a purse?” I’m like, “Its like walking around holding a Honda Accord!” This is the inside of the bag, it can fit a G19 and Desert Eagle comfortably.

Here is the gold hardware. One of these purses belong to Sharon Stone.

What is that deerskin? Did you hear about the two guys that stole the calendar? They both got 6 months!

Yup, that’s where they write that. There is a cool book about a guy that went all over the world snatching up Birkins and selling them on eBay. He is awesome.

I don’t know how to discuss more without revealing the thousand dollar fake from Thailand. No Ben I can’t get you another fake. Can you spot the fake? When you think you have it locked, call me at 719-266-2837. I look forward to hearing from you.

Here is the second Greatest Story Ever Told. David Banner David Banner came through the Amusement Park today. If for some reason you feel you are not familiar with Mr. Banner, perhaps you can try to remember any song you have ever liked… he made it. There are also a few accomplishments of his you may not be familiar with. Every hear of a Chrysler Sebring? He named it. Baby Jessica falling down the well? Who’s well do you think that was? One day while everyone was picking up weights, David Banner David Banner said; “I could do that laying on my back”… that’s when the bench press was invented.

With a new album on the way, and a new outlook on the world, David Banner David Banner came through to talk about creative thoughts. He does not particularly appreciate when you make it rain rubber bands while screaming TIP DRILL!! as he walks into the meeting. (note to self: replace rubber bands in the supply closet)

“Some people only meet one, two… if you are real lucky three people that will change the course of your life forever. Jimmy Smith is one of those people.” -David Banner (5:04pm yesterday)

David and Jimmy first worked together a few years ago on the Gatorade “Evolve” campaign. David Banner wrote, produced, arranged, and performed THIS SONG. Are you kidding me?  He took ‘em to church on that one. That’s not even fair to everyone that calls themselves an artist.

Jimmy is life changing. There isn’t a single soul on earth that has a bad thing to say about Jimmy Smith.  There are urban legends in the Portland homeless community that instead of giving money, Jimmy would take pan handlers out to a nice meal. Jimmy and his family are the only symbols that kind, honest, normal families still exist. He also likes to accept awards he receives in Jordan warm up suits head to toe.

While everyone is talking so highly of each other, get like me and just see if David Banner keeps his Bentley unlocked…

My second most favorite thing about living in L.A. for only 2 years is becoming a resource for super dope shit for locals. The Museum of Jurassic Technology is at the top of the super dope shit list. The first rule of web logging is opening with a visually arresting image to make someone want to read more. You only open with a bizarre, vague, awkward, sexually ambiguous photo if you have others to support it. Which I do. This is a sculpture of Goofy on the head of a needle. Nope, I’m glad you asked… it didn’t go popular on instagram, ya I know… Sammyandthecity goes popular every time, but not a statue of Goofy the size of a subatomic particle.

The mobile home exhibit is one of the most complete exhibits of mobile homing ever exhibited.

I doubt you have ever thought what happens to dice when they have out lived their usefulness. Rotten Luck focuses on what happens when a die dies.

Just an X-Ray image of a pitcher plant for your jaded eyes.

Hypersymbolic cognitation, or superstition was basically law before we assassinated all the witches and invented the radio. It’s hard to understand if this museum contains massive amounts of uncatalogued knowledge… or is a very elaborate joke. Mice on toast, or mice pie cures bedwetting and stammering. Now you know why Ben Hundreds never wet the bed.

When you are a child you are not suppose to pick up a dying animal. Because if it dies while you are holding it, you will suffer from trembling hands for the rest of your life.

In another rags to riches tale, we meet a stray dog wandering the streets of Moscow. Who’d a thought she’d be gold medal figure skater Oksana Biaul!… I mean. Laika! The first earth born creature to ever travel into space. And you thought it was a camera… shame on you.

Real holograms are made out of glass. If you break the glass each shard will contain the fulls image if the hologram. It’s science.

These are just holy spirits.

This is a garden… on the ROOF!

Early gaming set up.

200 years ago kids still sat alone like nerds focussed on some worthless toy. In this case a piece of cheese string, and the ability to stunt so hard motherfuckers try to tie you, can make a portrait of Phillip Seymore Hoffman with your fingers.

Three hands seems like cheating, this is like a pilgrim with a game genie.

Jim Darling took to it faster than 2 rats humping in a wool sack.

This is my favorite. The only known species of bat called “the Piercing Devil” is eternally frozen in this block of lead. It is said they bat has a superior evolved echolocation, which allows the animal to fly through solid objects. No fuck you, read it here.