Monthly Archives: June 2011

The talented and accomplished Chris Hornbecker was in L.A. for a few days. Laws and integrity prevent me from knowing what he is working on, but I can tell you he has been touring the world with Nike Sportswear for over a year. Chris Hornbecker could be the hardest working, humblest, most creative photographer in the known world.

This shot is cute.  Mostly because Sean Patrick Thomas (sitting back and to the left) wouldn’t stop laughing at my Knock Knock joke I made for Precious… oh, you wanna hear it?

ME: Knock, Knock
Precious: Who’s there…
Me: Oh, my bad, I thought you were a house!

The only thing Chris Hornbecker likes more than photography are sneakers.

The only person I have seen with as many sneakers as Corgi is Chris Hornbecker. The kid with the backwards shirt is Caleb who has been assisting Chris Hornbecker since… well.. since I moved away… >sniffel<

Chris Hornbecker has his very own Hipstamatic lens being released for FREE on July 1st.

What’s next for Chris Hornbecker? Father of 2, husband of 1, friend to many, might have to add roommate to Rob Hepper to that soon. One thing is for sure, Chris Hornbecker has a rad fucking name that never gets old.

To answer your question, yes, Mac did eat the whole thing.

There was a party at Box Eight this weekend. After meeting one of the owners, who was ordering endless champagne, surrounded by models, at the Lexington, 2 weekends ago… I had to see what they were about.

Peter Eaton Gurnz is the in house photographer slash owner.  The prints were displayed all around with several different finishes.

Something about these compositions are intriguing.

Little known fact: the Porsche 959 was the fastest street legal production car until the McLaren’s F1 beat it in March of 1998. Only real collectors have a Porsche 959, there are less than 400 in the world, and you have never seen one. Yeah I know this isn’t a Porsche, It’s is a Camaro and naked girl.

The party had delicious sushi, and I was drinking sake and ginger ale like it was my job.

On of Peter’s techniques he invented is this translucent film.  I asked how it was done and they told me, “you know how silly putty can copy news paper?, it’s kind of like that, except it takes 4 months to finish one photo.”

The gallery, business, party garden and creative space are all in this building. It has that; why didn’t I know about this sooner feel.

I stared at these photos and wondered, is this all my life is going to be?

If you thought you were doing something awesome with your life… and you’re not one of the people in this photo then you need to keep working.

“St. Barts by invitation only.” I was told this shot took 8 grueling hours to get, and they genuinely expected sympathy!

Of course James Taylor and Carley Simon’s son Ben Taylor is performing with the drummer from Nine Inch Nails. Some of the Box Eight crew grew up on Martha’s Vineyard… Just like me!

The man of the night Peter Gurnz and Michael Utsinger. Peter told me Tout is the new NEW Twitter… like makes Instagram look like last-years-agram!

That rabbit refuses to go to any parties without blonde Asian girls.

I get the Box Eight logo’s… but the unfinished ruler leaves one to contemplate…

I’ve decided to take photography more seriously… if I can only find a model….

My first model… only charged a dollar!

Hidden behind Intelligentsia, the capital of hipster land, is the newest guilty pleasure besides wearing multiple Fantenyl patches at once. The Cheese Store of Silverlake the the flagship purveyor of milk based food products.

I like to pretend I hate my family and I’m stocking up on rations to live in an abandon bus in the Alaskan Tundra.

The bread is baked fresh every day. But you have to eat it that day. Don’t wrap it in tin foil and bring it to San Francisco and think you’re gonna eat it like 5 days later, cuz it will be moldy.

This is the exact spot where I learned about Humbolt Fog.

Blue Cheese gets its name from veins of blue or green mold that grows inside. It also goes good on everything.  Have you ever made a grilled blue cheese sandwich? No? I’m sorry, how long have you been serving in the Taliban?

What’s up Cheddar?

Cigars are what posers smoke when they are literally the last person in the world to buy a Harley. Cheese is the real affluent class’ social entertainment.

The owner Chris Pollan was a tour manager for the biggest bands in music. For instance he spent 8 years with Van Halen. In case you were wondering why someone with a Pepsi Rolex would be slicing cheese.

Do you have any idea how gangster it will look when I’m eating this at Planned Parenthood later?

Proof that guitar picks make everything radder.

Most of you don’t care that I have a fake Twitter account called Gary Carter Raw that with the help of my friend Mac, we degrade, offend and snitch on obscure and irrelevant 80′s and 90′s era baseball players. It may have even offended it’s namesake because Twitter suspended it a month ago, and it hasn’t been the same since the changes. This is going somewhere.  When the jokes hit harder than this train, I was contacted by a fan of obscure baseball references.  He said his name was Kevin and he worked at a clothing line called Young and Reckless. After a few Julio Franco’s, a Doug Drabek, and a smooth Delino Deshields, Kevin invited me to his office… which happens to be every boy without Lou Gehrig’s disease dream.

Don’t act like you never been at the Hands of God Studio…

Jim Abbott took direct offense to these chairs and refuses to record any of his albums here.

There’s Kevin!  From here he kind of looks like Kevin Maas.

You don’t have to give Kirk from And Still a reason to wear Zubaz… but this was a special occasion.

I took this photo after I feeble grin’d the kink… switch.

I was wearing Zubaz completely coincidentally.

In ’92 Alien Workshop was the hottest shit out there.  CCS was in every book bag. And you could choose between slick or wood decks.

Kevin said a fan made this.  I like to believe Dave Madagan made it.

This photo is strictly for Jack Rossi.

Awwwee… it seems like just yesterday Big Black was featured in the first DC video.

I don’t care what it looks like on TV, this thing is unsafe.  I felt like John Rocker at the million man march… very uncomfortable.

Chris Hull, I’m gonna need a custom pair of these.

The themed rooms and offices are fully built out like a Disney ride.  Stores need to step up their interior design.  The days of white walls with Ikea shelves are over.  Did you know Young and Reckless is in over 3000 stores?  Are you serious?  Good work Kevin, now you know what it feels like to be Robin Yount.

While I was in D.C. I went to Miami. I have to admit I didn’t want to go.  Florida is my LEAST favorite state.  Even when it’s raining I’m sweating. Have you ever not wanted to go out, and had such low expectations that it turned out to be the best night of your life?  That’s kinda what Miami is like. Besides, Oprah, Diddy, Pharell, and Anna Kournikova must live there for a reason.

Every day above ground is a good day.

If you ever find yourself on South Beach and you hate money as much as me, why not go to the only other Visvim account in the country. The Webster is the best store in Florida.

I found myself at the Rolex case. I’m looking for a 42mm all gold with the champagne face but they had the smaller size. Hey? What are those black ones?

Why Bamford Watch Department. These people hate anything white. They made Romanelli’s Rolex. PVD, full name is Physical Vapor Deposition, it is an industrial manufacturing process, which is also called Vacuum Plating. This technology is often used in the craft of stamping parts, etching parts and extrusion parts. But how do you electroplate case ? In the process of PVD, the  case is placed on the electrode, and black metal is heated to the gas. This job must be done in a sealed and vacuum environment. The surface of the case will be coated with a thin layer of coating, to reinforce rust, wear and corrosion resistance.

I made some friends.

We had fun on the beach.

We ate a lot.

I entered a semi professional tanning contest, they said next season I could start.

I had dinner with the guy who was on Greys Anatomy. Nicole wished he was on her anatomy!

Pizza and asparagus.

To achieve this effect, simply place your camera in the sand for a full day until the shutter refuses to open completely.

The Raleigh Hotel pool is straight from the 40′s.  I also drank a case of 40′s while I sat here.

I was in Miami bitch.  Fuck… I totally forgot to make Scarface quotes the whole time.

If you are in D.C. for like 24 hours and don’t know what to see, let me help guide you to the mandatory sights so you can get out of this city as quickly as possible.

It was 103 for no reason.

I read about Black Aggie when i was in like 3rd grade.  It is a tombstone that if you sleep under it you won’t make it through the night. It’s haunted or cursed or something. But so many kids died of fear or heart attacks or maybe a ghost killed them, that the grave stone was removed from the cemetery. To be put on display in the Smithsonian. I don’t make this shit up.

Norman Rockwell

Ordinary loser American.

This looks like a less than zero party.

This guy finds drift wood, then casts it out of bronze and makes a horse out of the bronze wood.

The second coolest fish in the sea. The Deep Sea Angler Fish. It lives on the bottom of the fucking ocean.

A flame thrower.

Pimp of the nation, I could be it… as a matter of fact I foresee it.

You have to see this place.

These kids were freaking out over the spelling be like Bernardo freaks out over Red Sox spring training,

I stopped paying child support so I could focus more on planking.

Obama crib.

The Vietnam wall.

My Uncle James Howard Heppler was 22 when he was just chilling in an armored personal carrier. A rocket propelled grenade was fired in and killed him.  One of his friends that was there would later write my grandmother, “Fire covered all of his body and he died quickly.”

I wonder what the memorial for today’s war will look like.

The reflecting pool was under construction.

I went to DC for a couple days to check out an anti-aging specialist, and while I was there I figured I should see what our glorious country was built on. It was 103 degree’s which is slightly cooler than Ben Hundreds leather seat on a ride to Vegas with no AC.

With only limited time I used yelp and some guy in a wheelchair to find out which Smithsonian institute was a must see and which were just, meh. Everyone said Smithsonian Portrait Gallery would be a bigger regret than not calling Pippa Middleton when she clearly said “call me.”

In the early years of our country the official United States Image Recorder wasn’t actually that good, in fact he was a boat painter named Mordechai.

Betcha didn’t know Edward James Olmos was effective in the early legislature.

A rare glimpse of Dueling Gloves.

Oh, this is that chick that’s on the hundred.

Hey little guy, why are you so small?  I bet you drink out of a thimble.

This is Scarf Face… say it fast SCARF FACE.. get it? I knew you’d like that one.  He wasn’t very good at the alphabet.

“The streets will be paved with corn syrup, and a Chocolate Frappe for every boy.” -John Goodman 1775

Dude, you are waaaaaaaaaayyyy ahead of your time. Also he is listening to Vampire weekend in this painting.

I guess they allow any painting in the Smithsonian. I used to think gay people were creative, but they haven’t come up with a new disease since the mid-80s.

Airplane was such a good movie Lloyd Bridges got a spot on the wall.

“If you would have invented congress, then you would have invented congress…” -Carmine Gotti 1799

Andrew Carnegie was so fucking rich, he built massive libraries in almost every city in the country.  AND filled them with books. Do you have any idea how much that cost? You’d think Bill Gates could at least buy every kid a laptop, maybe go halfsies with Jobs.

Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves. Kinda feel like more basketball players should have tattoos of him.

Check these fuckers out. I just remembered I have naked pics of Melinda…

VIGO!  no.. its just George Lucas.

I never knew this existed, but a Pete Rose Warhol? Really?… has NOBODY been to this museum before?

If this isn’t the greatest painting you have ever seen then please spit in my face next time you see me cuz I clearly have no taste. I Be Reeve.

Chuck Close Bill Clinton. Almost every president had their portrait in regular style.  Bill was just like… nah yo, I want Chuck to do mine… and no one said shit.  This is an inced out player balling out of control.

Planking in DC.

The Magic Castle. The one entertainment establishment that is harder to get into than the Soho House and Jon Benet Ramsey’s tomb combined.  I first heard about the Magic Castle when Christina Perry ruined a group dinner in Portland with the most boring story about her trip there. It was enough to intrigue me about this place that doesn’t let ANYONE in unless you are a magician or you know a magician.  If an Olsen twin arrives they are not getting in unless they are riding David Blaine. Oh, and you also have to wear a suit… no exceptions.

I even got neurotic ass Gary out of his house. He hates when I tell people he used to be a writer on Wildboys… now that I think of it.. what the fuck did he write? “yeah dude, that’s a shark.” ?

There are no photographs allowed inside the Castle, only in the lobby.  This is as much as you will see.  Inside there are several theaters to see magicians trying out new tricks and just being awesome. Los Angeles magician Magic Mike was our tour tour guide.  He is also a strategic planner at 72 and Sunny, he must be an insane co-worker!

Melisa loves pictures.

Thats weird, Buff Monster can’t seem to walk through that wall… perhaps if he calls Jay at Bodega… I mean… says “Open Sesame”…

That’s crazy.  I feverishly recommend finding your nearest magician and getting all up in the Magic Castle.

This is one of the ghosts… the other one takes requests on a piano… Stephanie requested Purple Rain and the ghost played it… it was freaky.