Monthly Archives: April 2011

Last Friday Melissa got a migraine. A paralyzing massive migraine. We had to leave the Moca art show because it became unbearable.  Sunday, she ask me to take he to the emergency room. The same hospital where Biggie Smalls died.

I thought she was faking.  I told her she was wasting everyone’s time. There are real sick people and she just has a headache.  They shot her up with Dilaudid. Do you know what Dilaudid is? It is 200 times more powerful than Morphine.  It’s what Matt Dillion searched for in the movie Drug Store Cowboy. Using movies as examples usually helps people understand difficult subjects.  Melissa also dated Matt Dillion before she dated me which is bizarre.

Weird, Corgi has this at his front door too.

I was very mean.  I told her to “go home”, “your not sick” and I accused her of doing it just to get drugs.  After an MRI, and a spinal tap and 5 days in the hospital turns out she has Spinal Meningitis. It was the viral kind so it cleared up with some antibiotics. Today she is on day 7, and may get to go home.

The Conservatory has the best flowers in Los Angeles. Perfect for any occasion especially making yourself look florally aware. Kanye got his mouth wired shut in this hospital, and no one sent him flowers.

If it was bacterial meningitis she would be dead, or they would cut her arms off. She has had constant visitors and a great support group. I’m the most un-compassionate prick that has ever occurred.

Cedars-Sinai has tons of artwork hanging up.  These Muppets in a third world country where awesomely creepy.

Do you know why they call him Telly?  Because kids didn’t like to hang out with Snitchy!

This is the official opening of the Art In The Streets show at the Moca. Not the super VIP that Bobby went to on Thursday.

Before I could even see something I ran into Benji and his life partner.

Risk had a lot of work in the show. Maybe I’ll stop by his studio this week. (he said knowingly)

One of Banksy’s original stencils that catapulted him into the mainstream.

Here is his depiction of that stencil. Banksy said “This was my attempt at a proper painting… I won’t do that again.”

Stop complaining, you can’t even read.

You maybe recall this gun from Banksy’s ‘Crayola Shooter‘ but now it’s 3D.

He doesn’t even have to paint anymore… just bring a few tools he used to paint with and he’s good.

This is the detail on a Banksy stencil.  This is why your stencils look like garbage and his are air tight.

With 6 pieces of tape, Banksy is funnier than your whole family.

This is hands down, by far, unquestionable, the champion of the entire show. Who else is painting early 90′s low res video frames. It’s like Chuck Close meets Georges Seurat meets duh winning.  When Rodney King was asked if he could appear at the show he responded”How much are you going to pay me?”

It was more packed in here than Maclean Jackson‘s lunch box.

There were obvious politics involved, who was included, who wasn’t included… if I start bitching I’ll sound like Aaron Rose fell in love with some girl I fucked in Portland then got fired from Wieden and Kennedy because of it… but still it was a good show and you can’t include everyone I guess.

Dondi White cannot be overlooked.

Shout out to Michael White.

I like the Justin Pierce photo. I used to wonder how these kids were so poor but had fly ass skater gear. That’s because Larry Clark gave it to them for the movie.

Retna

The first fancy shirt I bought post release was at Concepts, in 2003 it was Henry Chalfant, it was like $75.

I found one of the twins! Os Gemeos.

Russ, undeniable one of the reasons half of us are in this lifestyle today.

Mega

Two of Mr. Cartoons favorite things, clean ass polo’s and white ladies.

Jae Bueno, that was James Franco, and I wasn’t quick enough to get a pic.

The actual bag that Stephen Sprouse drew all over.  He is dead you know.

Haze, and a blurry Rosie Perez.

Roger Gastman quickly becoming the god of modern day graffiti, Mr. Brainwash’s savior, obsessed with Topanga…we ran into him in the reading room.

Finally, the Nikes everyone is sweating…

Since I am the only person in the world not at Coachella, I figured a musical post was in order. I don’t claim to know anything about music. I have obsessed friends that hand me cd’s tell me what to listen to. However, I am devote in my Pete Yorn following. It started in 2000. I would stay up late on Saturday nights, in my prison cell, to watch a music video show on a public access station (Fuse?).  I saw Pete’s “Life on a Chain” video and I thought that’s what all the kids were into on the outside. That.. and Incubus…

He wasn’t on the radio much, in Boston, so on Friday nights I would have people call in WBCN and request it for me.  It’s the only song I knew and I tried to memorize the lyrics every time I heard it.

The day I was released in 2002 I went to lunch at a TGI Fridays.  That was the first time I heard “Strange Condition” and I thought it was a sign and that Pete Yorn was like the Bruce Springsteen of our generation. A decade later Pete has a dedicated fan base, but to my surprise never achieved Springsteen-dom. I saw him every time he came to Boston, he’s music is really sentimental to me. Stop laughing.

I asked about 40 people to go with me, no one wanted to go. A recently de-bearded Bernardo probably felt obligated and is not clever enough to come up with an excuse not to go.

“I’ve never seen that colorway before?!” … what is something this guy has never heard. The PY crowd brought all types… literally.

Does anyone have any idea who that guy is?

Bernardo without a beard was like riding 100 motorcycles at the same time, girls didn’t know what to do.

awwweee.. did little baby Robbie drink too much?

Do you remember that game Lemonade Stand?  I’m crushing it.

And the prize goes to… the last two people on earth to see The Royal Tenenbaums. We will be placing a Hundreds sticker of our choice on your Subaru.

In between writing Burger King spots, Family Guy billboards (1;2) and other stuff I signed NDA’s about, we have started building another arm to The Hundreds Croctopus. The Hundreds Presents On Blast… it’s a podcast, until it’s on the radio waves, then it’s just a straight up radio show.  But for now, as soon as Bart gets the page finished… it’s a podcast.  We have a few episodes already recorded, one you will never hear, and this last one was one of the best yet!

Colin Hanks stopped by and was a bottomless souce of audio engagement. I was fascinated at what his life must have been like growing up.  I mean his father was the most famous person on the planet.  We talked about what kids at school said when Dances with Wolves came out, or did he get to meet Whitney Houston during the taping of the Bodyguard. I couldn’t help myself and just blurted out “I LOVE WATERWORLD”

Seriously?  You haven’t heard of the Stopsaw?

As you get older baby pictures replace naked girl phone shots. (I’m looking at your Scott Caan) Unless your like me and had baby pictures over a decade ago.

Seriously, Colin Hanks has already had an incredible career, and he is not even close to slowing down. I’ve seen Orange County at least 8 times (lot’s of days being snowed in with one DVD) His music taste and knowledge would put Rollingstone out of business if he were to share it and he looks like me so he has that going for him!

My friend Jim Darling had a little art show at the C.A.V.E. Gallery in Venice. No not Venice Italy.

This isn’t like any of Jim’s work that I am familiar with. He did a whole bunch of pieces of looking down on cities. He has invited me to Art Basel for the past 2 years, where he creates huge installations as well as a few quasi-legal ones around the city.

That’s Jim, he looks different without his massive Forrest Gump beard.

Am I allowed to say Jim is an art director at Chiat/Day?  Does that take away from his credibility?  I think it’s just another example of how art and advertising continue to blur the lines.  Whatever, here’s a bunch of other ad dudes that where there.

Jason Nichols! Some would say he is the only reason I am in L.A., others would just be lairs. I think an entire post on Jason “Hotslacks” Nichols will be coming in the future so we will get off him.  But who is that to Jason’s left, your right?  Johnathan Granewhich who among other things has made the very iconic look and feel for the L.A. Times.

Oh Saatchi in the house! Daniel has a girls name and James See wears two year old Nike shirts. Daniel just broke 206 world records with his Toyota Prius records stunt (he was the art director) and James… I’m not sure what he does, but it must be better than me because I don’t work there anymore!

The phone vibrated because people that leave their phone on loud have nothing to hide.  Basically if someone has a ringtone that is the most exciting part of their life.  So Ben calls and invites me to the opening party of the new Hundreds store in Santa Monica.  That’s like being invited to Christina Applegate’s house while she was still on Married With Children and you are the only one with coke.  Of course I told him I couldn’t go because I was flying to Houston for the Final Four. Which I learned 3 hours prior was a basketball style event.

This is the photo the news channels will use… next time.

I caught Lil Flip slipping in the turning lane.

Did you know ticket scalpers are like the minor leagues for organized crime? Well it is.  Here you will see innocent god fearing white people attempt to buy tickets on the street.  What comes with the ticket?  A story to tell to your ugly kids for the rest of their worthless mid western lives.

This is the only man in the world that likes to be called “Mr. Peanut“.

“What the fuck did you just say to Doug Flutie? You want to play K’s Choice? How ’bout I give you Bells Paulsy with this drum stick, do you have any idea how replaceable a bassist is? I will fucking kill you on this stage you ever bring that 90′s emo shit to me again, look at me; LOOK AT ME, I’m Doug mother fucking Flutie I threw away a career in the NFL, you think I won’t throw your new born baby in the mosh pit.  Start playing that Nonpoint song we practiced and if I see you cry you will get a reverse vasectomy with Chris Mullin’s super long thumbnail.”

I cannot believe I captured the actual last person to actually buy and wear a Grateful Dead T-shirt. If this was 1993 he still would have been late. When I asked him why he wore it he responded “I love Pepsi!”

Just getting a head start on our Christmas card. Bun B’s backyard was pretty trill.

This is what 75,000 people look like. Not a single one owned up to the fart I smelled.

I thought Ben Hundreds was at the party in Santa Monica?

Every wonder what 4.6 million dollars a year looks like? He laughed at all my jokes, but then admitted he had won $75,000 gambling on the game.  He then farted and paid me to take the blame.

They gave out seat cushions.  Ashley Judd was there. Molly Bish wasn’t.

Davi Liu came to L.A. for a week  just to check it out.  Oh? You’re not familiar with Davi?  That’s just the way he likes it. He probably won’t appreciate me posting this, but it takes people like me to make people like him world famous.  Is that a Final Home jacket you’re wearing?

I’m best friends with his elusive brother Sam Liu who Davi tells me people often think is the older, wiser, better looking of the Liu brothers… but he’s not.

A movie was being filmed while we walked to the burger place. This is an extra dressed as a normal every day skater.  Posers take note!

Everyone has a story as to how they fell into advertising and Davi’s is no different.  Basically he was Discovered by the one and only John C Jay. Davi is a creative director, the weight of which you can’t even comprehend till you fail at what your doing for like 10 years.  Basically he is 12 Million times more creative then you will ever be.  But the world always needs a Rebecca Black.. so you keep at it!

The drive of shame. (get it?  This old widower puked all over the car drunk driving last night.)