Right now on display at the Guy Hepner gallery in Beverly Hills is the latest work from Jason Alper. Oh, who him is? If you ever saw Ali G, or Borat and thought to yourself, wow Sascha Cohen has the greatest outfits, he’s so smart. No, he has a costume designer that does it all for him. Well that costume designer has also been painting and creating art on the side for 20 years and this show is something he thought of last April and got up on the wall this week.
The Son Of Man, not to be confused with Man In A Bowler Hat. Looks splendid in the full LV get up. If you haven’t noticed the theme is historic paintings with a Louis Vuitton accent. Where Jason grew up in London he said only the poor people wore Louis and the high end brands. He said “you never see the actual rich or royalty wear it.” So he wondered what these great works of art would look like if they sported LV back then. It’s kinda funny right?
Also, if you have to ask you can’t afford it. This one is only about 3 MP5′s.
This is Jason, and the Laughing Caviler is his personal favorite.
An edition on 100 exists of this amazing stormtrooper bunny.
And like most things that are precious, this is also black.
Get it? You wish this was on a T-Shirt.
Most decent gallerys have a looking room for perspective buyers. Like how you test drive a car, if you are thinking of buying a 30k Warhol print you get to sit in a quiet room, sip some wine, and stare at it. Maybe listen to some Whoridas while you contemplate your investment.
Then I went to Deniro’s restaurant Ago. You don’t have to say Robert Deniro, you just say Deniro and everyone automatically knows who it is. Which reminds me of a joke. Why can’t you fool an aborted baby? Because it wasn’t born yesterday!
Let me begin by saying I genuinely liked the movie. I liked seeing my hometown, my prison, and the fantasy which every human wished they could do. Bank Robbery. Am I slightly bitter that I am not exploiting Boston and all it’s myths and stereotypes? Probably. That being said I would like to explain how and why this movie is more unrealistic than Precious becoming one of the Na-vi. SPOILER ALERT: I’m going to ruin everything you wish was true.
The history of Boston’s bank robbery legends begin in 1950. The Great Brinks Robbery was the crime of the century. It wasn’t the first, but it was the best. It got some Italian and Irish losers from Southie some shine. They all were eventually caught. The importance of this is the legacy it spawned. If you’re a drunk Irish mick from Charlestown of course your going to want to tell people you are related to one of these guys. So if you were unlucky enough to be born in Charlestown, South Boston, Chelsae, Sommerville, Everett, Medford and you were too stupid to become a cop or a politician you were destined to be a bank robber and go to jail. (White people are to selfish to thrive in gang life, and biker gangs haven’t committed a crime since the 70′s, yes i have see the casino shootout there are always exceptions.){ Biker gangs sell t-shirts. They are old mens clubs of uninteresting people that have a like interest; motorcycles. If 20 dudes that built model trains in their basements rolled into a Dennys with engineer hats would you be afraid?}
The opening line of the movie is “CHARLESTOWN HAS PRODUCED MORE BANK ROBBERS THAN ANYWHERE IN THE U.S.” That is a lie. Thus setting the stage for a cartoon tale of lies. Los Angeles has the most bank robberies every year. There are more people and more banks, and its fucking hot.
Next lets take a look at the bank robbery movie that changed the game for everyone in more ways than one. The Friends Of Eddie Coyle released in 1973 was also filmed in Massachusetts. It was one of the last movies because the unions were so difficult to work with Hollywood was like “Fuck Boston”. You would be hard pressed to find another movie filmed in Boston between 73-05. They fucked Boston so much that in 2005 Gov. Deval Patrick created the Movie industry tax credit wish is why there has been a sudden increase of Boston movies in the last 5 years. Mystic River, Gone Baby Gone, 21, The Departed, Shutter Island, one with Matthew Maconahay, like 5 with Dane Cook. It’s no coincidence, Boston wasn’t invented 5 years ago (oh wait the big dig is finishing and they want to increase tourism and america is fat and watches movies). Fuck. So this movie is awesome because it showed a new way to rob banks. Take the bank managers family hostage at his house in the morning, then send him into the bank to return with the loot if he wants his family unharmed. After this movie came out there were copycat robberies all over the state. Which I predict will occur with the oxycontin loving fans of this movie. This movie also made it standard policy for bank manager homes to have silent alarms installed to prevent this type of robbery from taking place. So scratch that off your list.
The film has several aerial shots like this throughout the movie. NO. Boston is not beautiful it is filled with jersey barriers and orange cones. In the 28 years I lived there it was under construction.
Next, a popular weapon in all movies not just this one is the Heckler and Koch MP5. If you are robbing banks that sort of implies you need money. Ok, even if you are part of the mob, and they are supplying you with the weapons can you really afford $100,000 in the gun budget? An MP5 cost over $10,000. After you use it in a crime you usually have to dispose of it. They are not getting $3.2 mil off every heist. Seeing 4 of these in one scene means they have like 50 g’s in guns, I would just sell the guns and buy a mutual fund.
There are $20,000 in guns in this picture.
Then there are the accents. The kid from Hurt Locker I thought was spot on, bad accent, bad skin, down to kick ass no questions asked (just like all inbred Boston thugs.). Ben Affleck does not exist in Charlestown, the word “toonies” was made up for the film, no one robs armored trucks anymore, every bank robber claims to have money buried in some old ladies yard when they get out. Oh, and Charlestown has it’s own table in the Concord Prison chow hall. That’s how many stupid whiteboy “heroes” as we used to call them, there are in prison. My favorite is Chad Austin.
This is a good one. So back in 2009 I was introduced to this emerging technology called “Augmented Reality“. Don’t worry, if you’re not familiar with it you will be soon. Just about every major brand will integrate one into their campaign in the coming year. I got to work with them on a little movie called Coraline. I’ve pitched some augmented reality ideas to Infiniti, Visa, and some not worth remembering. When I discovered the Total Immersion office was 300 feet from my inflatable mattress I had to stop by.
In an even more serendipitous turn of events the main dude at Total Immersion, Jason Smith, is a friend of a friend. So within hours I was in his office. These are just a few clients T.I. has worked with. Bringing digital to analog, then back into the digital realm all while making something awesome people will want to participate with. Oh, you make T-Shirts… I guess that’s cool too.
Smart phone AR is the next level. You’ll be able to interact with billboards, cereal boxes, other mobile phones.
Have you ever wanted to buy your eyeglass frames online, but hesitated because you were unsure how they would look? Well… if you knew about this then you wouldn’t look like Sean Lennon in Harry Potter frames.
Then we were Phamish’d (it’s a food truck that sells Vietnamese food, see the signs?)
I tried to explain it to Kimora and she was like “WHHAAAAAAAATTT”
Mary Kate wanted no part of it.
But Common totally understood and wants his next album cover to have augmented reality.
While in New York the US Open was going on. Venus Williams offered us some tickets to her luxury box. So me and Kelsey Grammer decided to go.
The ESPN luxury box seats were pretty good. I mean they were slightly better than Josh Rubin’s. Way Better than Ray Mate’s. But not as good as Eugene Jefferson’s!
Did you know every time your photo is taken, a tiny piece of your soul is captured with it… until it is gone… and you die.
This was the ball girl. I really would like to know the credentials or the process to become one.
So it turns out we were in the wrong box, but when we went to the one our tickets were for, it was smaller and not serving lobster rolls. So we came back to the ESPN suite. It’s amazing what confidence, a smile, and a body void of tattoo’s can get you.
I really wanted one of these. They were sold out. It would be great for my douchebag outfit.
This is the closest I have been to Venus since Mercury was in retrograde!
This is the exact moment Serena realized that the wish she made on an eyelash when she was 7 came true.
Little known fact: Venus Williams has the world record fastest tennis serve of 129mph. She also loves the band 311.
Really wish I bought more of these. You could only buy one, like a left or a right. They were all size 15, and they were only $40. Only available at the Nike pop up shop at the US open.
I havnt seen any on eBay yet… but Serena fucking wrote on mine so now I’m stuck with it.
Last night was the opening for the Dave Kinsey show at the Joshua Liner Gallery. It’s right next to Scores. This piece above is Kris Kuksi. The process that he creates these intricate works is intensive. I was told by a reliable source that Robin Williams purchased one of these… and when it was shipped to his house it was like a thousand pieces.
Here is some Dave Kinsey art. I didn’t take a lot of photos of it, one because stupid people were standing in front of most of them and two because they are all sold so you will have to wait till the next show.
I learned this evening that Jared and Josh were two separate people. I met Jared three years ago at the Intercontinental hotel in Boston. That was fun. But Josh is his brother who owns the gallery. They had the real story on the Bansky that was removed from the drywall last winter in LA.
Laurence Chandler showed up he to teach us how to dougie. Then he got on his motorcycle and rode off without a helmet.
So I came to New York half to get away from L.A and half to help my girlfriend with her latest venture Cameo Stars. I get to write scripts for everyone from Lindsey Lohan to the Tron Guy (who just bought a fucking plane). As well as a shitload of other stuff that is to boring to mention here… like make 10g’s every time I wake up.
So we are staying is this baller ass apartment in the meatpacking district. I’m not even gonna pause that because there is nothing funny about a $4 million dollar crib.
Going from mandatory cars in L.A. to walking to work, food, laundry, to the hardest spot to get into in the city is such a lifestyle I never knew existed but now will aspire too…. (damn, I’m starting to sound like Meastro… softer than Precious’ mattress!)
Robinson Cano from the Yankees did some cool things. It was especially hilarious when he tried to say the word “rookie“.
Adrienne Bailon is someone I did not know of until this moment.
Mr. Freshness himself Yu Ming popped in just incase something awesome happened.
And it did. A-Rod canceled and Bun agreed to fly in on like 24 hours notice. The TrillOG does not disappoint. (in hindsight Bun I should have got a pic of the Jaguar, pics or it didn’t happen)
There are so many things awesome with this picture.
I do not understand the wood phenomenon.. yes Chance tells me its like a royalty check every month, yes Derek can’t keep them in his shop. But to me it seems like people are celebrating being poor. What’s cool about that? Anyone can be poor. They bought a laser machine and use an unlimited almost free resource. Then Bun asked where my chain was at. I told him I had a safe deposit box with the real ones and I wear the fake… oh… someone really said that?
If you are ever in front of the camera, this is what you would see.
Writing scripts and making changes on the fly. Bun was easily the best of the day, made up his own lines.
It was pretty cool to see Melissa trying to direct the Underground King, he was very polite… until the air conditioner was shut off. Then I saw Mr. 5 Mics become the King of Countin’ Chickens.
Wardrobe changes and props… for some reason the script with Bun in the giant bee suit got killed…
I thought I looked really good in this picture. So from now on I just need to always be photographed on a green background that has like 65 feet of empty space and a transition behind me. FUCK how did I get so unfunny. I just got caught slipping in the turning lane….
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