Oh please fulfill me, otherwise kill me.

Subject: your own blog?

Dear Yasi,
I am new to reading your blog, so I’m sure this question has been answered by one of the other idiotic people who spend at least a few hours a day checking The Hundreds blog like myself (mainly for the homepage and The Feed sections)… but how in God’s name did you get your own blog on The Hundreds web site? No disrespect intended, just wondering how any of what you seem to talk about has anything to do with a streetwear brand or if it has any right to be up on such a highly-read blog.

But, as I said, I’m sure this question has been previously answered. I’m just really fucking confused.

-Eric
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Eric,

Before I answer your question and make you less confused, I need to address some things about your email that I am confused about. You spend a few HOURS a day checking the Hundreds site? A few hours EVERY DAY? Do you read very very slowly? Are you without job, friends, girlfriend, school, magazines, television, or hobbies? Do you jerk off to Bobby’s tantalizing photos of the new Hundreds footwear? Do you jerk off to Bobby himself? Because outside of that I can’t see anything that would warrant spending hours a day perusing a street wear site. This is not CNN.com. There is no breaking news here.

Second, I’m not really sure what God would have to do with the decision making process regarding who gets a blog on this glorious site. I guess he has as much free time as you do.

I do realize that my section may not be as stimulating or intriguing as a real time account of limited edition whatever the fuck t-shirt collaborations or what super cool new Bearbrick just “dropped” and trust me I do not find my own writing even remotely interesting. So please know I am extremely humbled and grateful to be gifted with the great privilege of answering the moronic and often demented questions of grown men who spend a bulk of their disposable income on t-shirts and collect toys. I am undeserving and because of that spend my nights flogging myself with (uber exclusive) Supreme baseball bats. Please thank your all powerful “God” for me.

In conclusion, fuck you.

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

Pop goes the bunny.

I do this now too. Check it out.

http://heybunny.thepop.com/

Life is hard enough when you belong here.

Subject: Tommy ‘wtf’ McCloud (and Ike), the Zalinkster, and people of equal or lesser…coherency

Yasi,
You seem to be a very no nonsense kind of person. To some degree I think it’s why so many people visit your blog, we get a few minutes of reading some witty straight to the point lines that are so hard to find anywhere else now. I suspect you’re the girl at the bar sitting with some friends people watching who sees someone acting stupid, you smile to yourself, point out the idiocy to a friend, and then go about your business having taken a brief moment to relish the fact that you’re you, and not the idiot.

Getting to the point:
How many emails do you normally receive between posts on the blog, are they typically like tommy boys, and how painful is it to read the incoherent emails you get flooded with?

Ryan
ps. dodgers or angels?
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Ryan

I’d be remiss if I didn’t first address some of the falsities in the first paragraph of your question. First off, I have plenty of nonsense in my life (in addition to absence of sense). Secondly, “so many people” do not visit my blog. Bobby recently sent us a list of the blogs in order of hit counts, and I’m pretty sure this one was below the Links section. And while I enjoy sitting at the bar mocking others as much as the next person (here’s looking at you, Hot Topic looking dude with the black nail polish and the chain wallet), it does not make me any less of an idiot.

That being said I probably receive about 7 emails between posts, 3 or 4 of which are from people asking me why Bobby won’t respond to their emails about selling Hundreds gear in their store or China based studios providing innovative and cost effective CAD drafting and design solutions that provide value to business needs. The rest are from either Thomas McCloud whilst drunk or that kid Zach Pop (with charming subject lines like “CUNT!”). It’s not so much painful as it is tedious and ultimately depressing as I come to terms with the fact that this is indeed my life.

In conclusion, while I do not have the time to watch 162 games a season of anything (as I am very busy pondering the meaning of life and watching hilarious youtube videos), I am from LA so go Dodgers.

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

Love put me wise to her love in disguise.

Subject: Words

I see that you have not accepted my challenge on words with friends (roundys brand scrabble for iPhone). I can’t blame you as I scored very high on the spelling portion of the GED. I ask you this, If you have lipo and drink it, are you a cannibal? And also if you hook up with a chick who looks just like a dude bug she has a vajayjay, does that make you gay? What about a chick who had a sex change but you know about it but she’s fully woman?

- Jerome Zalinsky
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Jerome,

A) I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about in that first sentence, but I can tell you I would murder you at Scrabble. While I have no doubt that you scored very high on the GED and I’m sure that test is inordinately difficult (I don’t know, I never took it), I will not bore you with mentioning my many test score achievements (cough perfect score on the SAT 2 for writing cough cough). However, I do not have a iphone and I will not add you to Facebook (which is where I flex my Scrabble muscles) so I guess we’ll never know.

B) If you have lipo and drink it, that is technically human flesh but just straight fat cells so not only are you a cannibal but you are also kind of fucking disgusting.

C) If you hook up with a chick that looks like a dude you may be gay, or you may be desperate, drunk, Lady GaGa’s boyfriend, or some other dudes I know but whose spots I shall not blow up at this time.

D) If your dick is in a vagina, I don’t think it’s gay.

xx,
Yasi

**Sorry GaGa I think you’re dope but you kind of look like a man. Love you mean it.

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

Sometimes I feel like I’m watching the world and the world isn’t watching me back.

Back to Thomas McCloud.

Subject: A brave new world?

Hi Yasi,
So, I don’t know if you even read my e-mails anymore. But Me and my friends drank mad country club tonight, thats the vodka you can get for like 9.99 a liter and it tastes like cunt. But anyways I came up with some more questions for you to not answer.

First of all, what is the american dream? Life Liberty and the pursuit of happiness????

Well..

Life = universal health care

liberty = ZERO police

happiness= fuck the world i don’t ask me for shit!

so does the american dream = anarchy?

And if it does, why is this state so regulated? should we blow it up?

Also…Is the best way to go out through martyrdom or addiction?

I mean i read this adolous huxley qoute in this book called the genius and heroine. and he said or something to the effect of “who lives longer? the man who takes heroin for two years and dies, or the man who lives on roast beef, water and potatoes til ninety five? one passes his twnety four months of eternity. all the years of the beef eater are only lived in time.” So what’s better living fast or dying slow?

Your welcome,

Thomas

ps: fuck! and it’s not that serious but I skated the old SCV park with owen and sagan and I feel like I am allowed to e-mail you for no reason. VALLEY LIFE?…..i am drunk.
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T-Dawg,

As much as reading your maniacal and misspelled emails makes my little mind weep, I am going to do my best to answer your questions without mocking you. Or at least without mocking you a lot.

It sort of sounds like you are answering your own questions so I’ll offer an alternate point of view. I don’t actually know what the American dream is anymore, but I think it used to entail being able to work your way up the social/economic latter and to own your own home and have a family you can support etc etc. I do know that “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” is not so much the American dream as a quote from the Declaration of Independence (”We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”)

I can’t say I agree that liberty is equal to zero police. I’d go even further to say that having no police would inevitably rob many of us of that first inalienable right to life, as I can’t imagine the murder rate would go down with the absence of cops. I’m not saying a lot of them aren’t fucked up and/or corrupt, but that doesn’t mean the end game is futile. According to dictionary.com, the definition of liberty is “freedom from arbitrary or despotic government or control.” Some may beg to differ, but I hardly see our government as despotic and our laws are far from arbitrary. Poorly executed, yes, and badly interpreted for sure, but not arbitrary. As for your definition of happiness as “fuck the world i don’t ask me for shit!” I have to say I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. Subsequently, I am going to skip the next few questions relating to anarchy and blowing up the system because they’re boring.

As to your Aldous Huxley reference, I think there is some merit to that quote but I dislike when two extremes are compared as the only options. Is there no place in between 2 years of heroin and 95 of beef and potatoes that can make a person happy? Excess has its place but given the choice I’d live for 60 years somewhere in between.

To tie it all in for you (as if that would be possible) here is another Huxley quote:

“The worst enemy of life, freedom and the common decencies is total anarchy; their second worst enemy is total efficiency.”

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.