Who’ll be my role model now that my role model is gone gone.

Welcome back to Thomas McCloud Week. Next up from Thomas: Africans.

Subject: Africans

Dear Yasi,
I am chilling with my african friend Ike, I drank a lot last night so i might still be drunk but I am also pretty high. I am dissapointed that you never answered my last question but it’s all good I’m not worried about it…
So me and my friend Ike were wondering what is the hundreds? Well I like hundreds, and ike likes the hundreds too…but what does that even mean? What are we buying into? It’s a representation of california culture I guess, but if your already from california why should you need to buy something to prove it? Or if you aren’t from california why should you buy into something that represents a completely different place? I don’t understand..I don’t know the whole message of the hundreds but to me i feel like the hundreds is opposed to conformity and big corporations. Yet it is a big business, thousands of people are buying a message that is a representation of “what can’t be bought”… Which makes me question what I am buying in the first place..But at the same time I don’t mind it, because I guess the message is kind of real…So I am just confused as to why I am spending what little cash I actually have on t-shirts.

My companion ike brought up a question of self worth? Are we buying into brands like the hundreds because we have the ambitions to become these “cool” people..but why at the age of 21 am i buying into this culture?….but for some reason the hundreds is way too dope.

I just feel like the society is on the verge of collapse, and no one is even taking the time to notice the real shit going on. Or maybe I shoud stop smoking weed and eating psychadellic mushrooms. I don’t know…Or maybe none of the shit going on in society is real, and history is fake..I don’t know could you help me clear my head?

Thomas (and Ike)
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Thomas (and Ike),

The idea of what you wear representing who you are is what makes the fashion world go ’round. Our first perception of others around us is visual, and after looks we take in clothing and style to determine if this person is a match for us, whether it be in terms of romantic or friendship. But you’re right, that’s all bullshit now, because Urban Outfitters exists. When I was younger, if someone walked into class with a Fugazi t-shirt on I knew we would be fast friends. But these days the youth look has pretty much blended together into some jumble of t-shirts, flannels, tight jeans and new era hats or whatever and pretty much every kid within a five mile radius of Fairfax dresses almost exactly the same. You walk into Urban Outfitters and it looks like the inside of a thrift store, except all the clothes are 70 times the price and usually half the quality because they’re made in Malaysia or whatever. I’m not sure where I’m going with this but your question was so meandering that I feel like I get a pass. Basically I don’t know why you spend what little money you have on Hundreds t-shirts or what sense of self wearing an Adam Bomb gives you, but I do know that people like to feel like they belong to something greater than themselves. Hippies wear hemp, frat guys wear Abercrombie, and you street culture kids wear limited edition whatever the fuck. And so it goes until the next “culture” emerges and appropriates some other part of fashion to identity themselves. In any event, you should probably lay off the mushrooms, you’re starting to sound like a raving lunatic (not sure what they wear).

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

Money, get back, I’m all right jack keep your hands off of my stack.

Let me preface this by saying welcome to Thomas McCloud Week. I was rooting through the inbox to find some questions to answer and realized I have completely ignored the onslaught of emails I have received from Thomas this summer, mostly because they usually sound like the ravings of a lunatic on a semi-coherent day. But as I am at a loss for questions, and because Bobby has taken to sending me threatening emails (no doubt a severed horse head on my pillow is next), welcome to the inner workings and rantings of young Thomas’ mind.

Subject: dungeons and dragons

Dear Yasi,
I think I have some questions for you… the first one is..what the fuck am i doing in summer school? shit is so beat.. the second one is, how did I even end up in a class called the “history of science” and why is the professor of this class a closet fanatic of dungeons and dragons?
I dont know if your in school or not but I am, and I am not psyched. so im spreading the hatred and i’m about to take you back to school with this one:

So today in class I heard that the catholic church considered ‘usury’ (charging interest on loaned money) a greater sin than homosexuality back in the day (1500’s)..And since America runs on interest and, capitalism in it’s current form can be traced back to the 1700’s…Does that mean capitalism is one of the greatest evil’s ‘created’ by man? Are America’s priorities all fucked up? Should we be persecuting the bankers and not the homo’s? Do you think Bernie Madoff should be publicly hanged? I mean he’s going to jail for 150 years…why not? Or he’s what in his 60’s? We could give him 10-20 years and if he don’t pass by then we should totally do it..right? I am definently not a church goer though, and I believe in capitalism..But do you think capitalism is inherently evil?

Thomas
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Thomas,

I have to say I’m not sure what the fuck you are doing in summer school (although since it’s now September and you wrote me that email in June, I guess you are actually not so much anymore). If I had to take a wild guess, I would say you either failed a course or you are just an unbridled over-achiever. Let’s give you the benefit of the doubt and go with the latter.

First of all I am a bit perplexed that you are citing the Catholic Church as your moral compass. I’m not religious but I have trouble siding with a religion that considers homosexuality a mortal sin yet somehow breeds priests who fondle altar boys. But enough about that (bring on the hate mail). I’m no economist, but let’s get to your question about capitalism. Capitalism is a system, which is not inherently good or evil. It is objective, and only becomes evil when the evil of human beings is put into it. Greed is a human trait, not a trait of economics. Pure capitalism is actually a rather beautiful thing. However there is no pure capitalism, because beyond corporations there are people, and in people there is greed. See current economic crisis. See Bernie Madoff, Enron, Worldcom, sub-prime mortgages, and Wal-Mart.

So there you have it. My MBA stuffed into one paragraph (I did summer school too).

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Subject: A survey YOU posted

So I’m reading your blog, and I decide that Alice’s survey looks like a
joke. I’m bored, so I answered the questions anyway.
1. Do you have a job? If yes, does it involve a deep fryer

I’m a student.

2. Do you currently or have you ever live in a “trailer park” or “govt
housing”

no

3. Do you currently have chlamydia?

no

4. Name your top 3 Will Ferrell movies.

I like Old School, but that’s probably because college makes me.
He’s pretty good in Zoolander
This isn’t a movie, but Eastbound & Down

5. Do you or have you ever illegally downloaded Creed?

no

6. Define irony (please don’t reference dictionary.com or Alanis
Morrissette)

Irony is when something comedic and unexpected happens. It’s kind of
like a plot twist, but it effects the characters by pointing something
out about them that you didn’t know or making them do something they
wouldn’t normally do.

7. Name your favorite character on 90210 (not the new one, douche).

i’m 21, and I never watched the show. I also kinda don’t care.

8. Who is Arnold Horshack?

I don’t know

9. Who is your fav porn star? (Be honest bc we think it’s rad)

There are way too many pornstars to pick a favorite. Heather Brooke has
skills though.

10. Would you be offended if Alice did a line of an illicit substance
off a stripper’s ass in the middle of a pentagram? (Hypothetically
speaking)

No

11. What are your thoughts on the Kabbalah?

I’m not a big organized religion type of guy.

12. Are you allergic to cats?

no

13. Amanda Bynes: man or woman?

I’m pretty sure she would like you to think she is a woman.

14. What do you think about the federal bail out plan?

I didn’t see any of it. The money, I mean.

15. How do you feel about Sandra Bullock’s performance in Miss
Congeniality?

I’m strangely attracted to Sandra Bullock in most of her movies.

Hamilton
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Um, cool.

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

Nothing I can tell you, you look good when you wear it well.

Subject: I can only imagine…

Dear Yasi,
What do picture your ideal guy wearing in your head? Every girl probably has a
picture of what their ideal guy would wear, but I think more often than not, it
turns out the actual one they love has style not very close to what they
pictured. Just wondering.

T
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T,

It’s always perplexing to me when guys dress badly. For a girl to look good and have good style, it’s rather difficult and there are infinite subtleties and nuances involved. A mini skirt can be slutty or stylish, depending on the cut, material, and the legs accompanying it, and just the briefest waltz with a trend (see: mesh bodysuits) can end in shame. However, for a guy, the equation is pretty simple. Find one pair of jeans with a good cut and quality (this can be done cheaply and easily at Levi’s or even the Gap) and buy a few different washes (never acid or stone, please, and colored jeans are best left to ravers and Europeans). I like a guy in black jeans, but then I have a dark soul. Then head on over to Target, pick up 10 packs of Hanes tees in white and black (throw in some navy or grey if you are adventurous) and maybe one of those Russel or Champion zip-up hoodies. Buy yourself a pair of Chucks or Jack Purcells in black, white, or navy, and you’re pretty much set. I like this look in head-to-toe black (see above: dark soul) but pretty much any combination works. Of course I appreciate a guy who can go a little further with his style but those who are impaired can stick to this regimen and always end up looking good. I guess my ideal guy was one of the Outsiders.

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

Darlin don’t you go and cut your hair, do you think it’s gonna make him change?

Subject: Bobby/ Hair

Hey Yasi,
This is first time i’m writing to you and I want to say I’m a HUGE fan of The Hundreds. I have a simple question that’s been bothering me for a while now. The question is “Why does Bobby wear a hat in every picture I have seen of him.” It’s a stupid question but I need to now the answer to get on with my life lol.

Cheers,

Pranay
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Pranay,

There are a lot of odd things I think about on a daily basis (where can I purchase inexpensive taxidermy, who invented the casserole, how many cats is too many, etc) but Bobby’s choice and frequency of head wear never crossed my mind. Ever. Until now.

I thought about it for a few minutes and here’s what I’ve come up with: he’s not bald (he’s got that good Korean hair) so that’s not it. I toyed with the idea that he either had horns or an unhardened fontanel, but those seemed unlikely (yet cool). So I just asked him:

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.