Shove your hope where it don’t shine.

Subject: Who is in the wrong Yasi?

I agree that Jordan is a punk kid trying to be part of the brand, but this quote from you “This brand is not made for prejudiced assholes like you. Maybe you should try Tap Out.” suggest that Tapout is made for prejudiced people. If you had done your research before you opened your cunt mouth you might have noticed that the three main people who run tapout have done a lot of charity work for the poor and less fortunate of all racial sexual and handicapped backgrounds through the years giving homeless fighters apartments and jobs while they train as well as helping others get off drugs and out of other sticky situations. Not only that but Charles “Mask” Lewis (RIP) Would hate to ever have his creation worn by anyone simple minded and prejudice. I think you should apologize for what you Implied. Because it made you look as bad as Jordan if not worse. Thanks.

zach
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Zach,

I absolutely did not mean to imply that Tap Out was a brand founded by or for bigots, and if I was careless with my words and that’s how it sounded, I apologize. Just because I think Tap Out is corny doesn’t mean it’s an inherently bad company. Although I could have lived fifty more years without knowing the entire history of the brand, so thanks for that. Also, if you ever make reference to me with the word “cunt” again I will find out where you live and remove your mixed martial arts loving intestines. Hugs!

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

We hate it when our friends become successful.

Subject: how to do.

Dear Yassle,
i was wondering if there was ever a way to stop the hundreds from “selling out”. Today at school i saw a legitamate mentally handicapped person wearing the new bomb sketch tee from the fall lineup and i was wondering. Is the hundreds selling out and being in all clothing stores such as Macy’s inevitable or is there a way to stop all the poser mobiles from wearing my fucking brand?! thanks alot.

Jordan Archie
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Jordan,

You raise an interesting and important question. I’m sure while you were earning your master’s degree in business, you also had a course entitled “Selling Out – Evils and the Pitfalls of Selling to the Handicapped.” Good class right? What’s that? You don’t have a master’s in business? What? You can’t spell “legitimate”? What? You’re a moronic bigot? Listen to me closely, fuckface. First of all, “selling out” as you define it has little to do with reality. Secondly, calling it your “fucking brand” makes you sound delusional. Do you think Bobby sits in his office, thinking about you as he designs each piece of the line? Like he has a photo of you tacked on his wall that he stares at for inspiration? Does he call you when he’s making important trim and fabric decisions?

Lastly, I’m willing to bet that “legitamate mentally handicapped person” has more intelligence and honor in his small finger than you have in your entire body. This brand is not made for prejudiced assholes like you. Maybe you should try Tap Out.

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

We could be looking for the same thing.

Subject: wordly & worldly things

Quick questions..

1. If you are what is it your seaching for… in life.

2. If you do, what’s your goal?

that is all.

Michael
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That’s all then, is it? Let’s see.

A friend of mine mentioned that it seemed like I was becoming increasingly bitter and loathsome as the posts go on (bitter was his word, loathsome is mine). The truth is, it’s more that I’m becoming increasingly disconnected from questions that ask me to weigh in on the virtues of coke over pepsi and such. And actually, from most things I used to engage with. Let me see if I can answer your questions (however personal and non-advice related they are) in some sort of roundabout way. The things that used to be important, aren’t anymore, not really, and the ones that are have been pared down. The things that used to matter a lot are sort of inconsequential and there are some things I never thought I would want, but I do. I’m sure it’s equal parts getting older and getting wiser and getting tired, but there it is.

To put it more simply, for now all I really want is a good book, a good friend, and good meals. And if I happen to write that good book, be that good friend, and possibly make those good meals (must invest in deep fryer), then all the better. A few good masks here and there won’t hurt either.

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

I saw your girlfriend and she was eating her fingers like they’re just another meal.

Subject: This – that and why

Hi Yasi,
series of questions:

mac or pc? why?

black or white? why?

pepsi or coke? why?

nike or adidas? why?

go out or stay in? why?

lupe or kanye? why?

car or bike? why?

LA or NY? why?

me or him? why?

WHY YASI?

-fan
kevin
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really? fine.

mac or pc? why?
tv.

black or white? why?
that’s racist

pepsi or coke? why?
diet coke, from the fountain.

nike or adidas? why?
twitter.

go out or stay in? why?
scrabble.

lupe or kanye? why?
pavement.

car or bike? why?
car because i’m lazy and 80% of my worldly possessions are in it but i do love my bike. in theory.

LA or NY? why?
no.

me or him? why?
john cusack.

WHY YASI?
every time I sit around I find I’m shot.

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

Sun keeps risin’ in the west, I keep on wakin’ fully confused.

Subject: Question

hey yasi,
i saw in your last answer that you said “should i limit my caffeine intake?” does that mean you drink a lot of coffee? and if you do, are you tall?
i love coffee and family members often tell me i’m short due to the fact that i drank a lot of coffee even when i was young.

maybe this is more interesting than guys asking you about how to get their best girl friends to fuck them.

hana.
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Hana,

I do drink a bit of coffee, not as much as some crazies (I’m talking to you, Bruzzi) but enough to worry. For some reason I find coffee romantic, in the way ritual can be romantic. But actually I’m rather tall, about 5′8.” My roommate in college used to tell me I was average height but that’s because she was 5′11″ and didn’t want to feel quite so freakishly tall. One time we were walking around after some house parties and a cop stopped her for being drunk in public. He was interrogating her about her driver’s license and when he asked her height, she slurred “I’m 11′11.” November 11th is her birthday. I had to pick her up from the Santa Barbara County Jail the next morning at 7am. I’m not sure if she drank coffee when she was younger.

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.