Darling, you’re dead wrong.

I’ve got a lot of things I want to sell but not here babe.

Subject: This week an email with a question(s)

Dear Yasi,

I was reading your most recent posting and I decided to Google you. I was pleasantly surprised to see the first result was an article/blog/blurb/internet nugget of knowledge entitled “Women Making History: Yasi” from March 2008. You’re at least moderately famous/popular/lusted after/crushed on/successful and I had to know, a year later are you happy? Have you made much history in the past year?

And what’s your opinion on Twitter?

Ryan
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Ryan,

I’m fairly certain I’ve never actually made history, unless they have drastically relaxed the criteria for coverage in history books. My purported fame/popularity/crushworthiness is at best your speculation and at worst…well I don’t know what’s much worse than internet fame.

As for your other questions, phrasing it “a year later, are you happy” holds the implication that I was happy then. Not saying that I was or wasn’t, just pointing out the implicit. Proust said “Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness possible,” but then again it can be argued that he spent much of his life terribly unhappy and unhappy people tend to scoff at the validity of happiness. (Tangential, to be sure, but we could all use a little Proust now and again). To be honest, sometimes I feel a little bit like Franny Glass, who said something like “I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.”

I guess I should qualify that but I won’t, or can’t. Either/or.

About Twitter, a few weeks ago I had written it off as some vehicle created primarily to make me painfully aware of what kind of sandwiches all of my friends were eating for lunch each day, but since it has proven itself to be the voice of the current uprising in Iran, I’m sort of in awe of it. However, I got an add request from my dad yesterday so I still might have to cancel my account.

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you.

Subject: resurrected

when fisher hit that first 3 i thought about you and all that trash i talked about him. when he hit that second one… i thought you might have thought about me and all the trash i talked about him (if you even remember, that is). i am forced to take it all back. you win.
did i spell resurrected corectly?

jens
HI

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Jens,

First off, let me wish you a happy Laker Parade day. Secondly, you did spell resurrected right but you spelled correctly wrong (which is sort of ironic, no?).

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

Pieces of note fall down, but the letter said…

This week in emails with no questions:

Subject: re: your remarkably repressed but your remarkably dressed

your dad isn’t tight..my pops told me the same thing a long time ago when i was a little niglet!.. “never assume cuz you make an ass out of u and me”

Thomas

I guess my dad isn’t “tight.” I consider this a good thing.

Subject: Tapatio

Dear Wise Yasi:

My goal of this e-mail is only that you read it.

I just ate at my local burrito shop for the first time (although delicious, burrito’s aren’t my first choice for food). Anyways, every table has a bottle of Taptio hot sauce on them. I immediately thought back to your post a few months or so back where you confessed your love for this delicious hot sauce. It is D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!

That is all. Just wanted to let you know your opinions on delicious hot sauces don’t go unnoticed.

Thanks.

Tony

One time I was at Aviva’s house and she made me breakfast. When she turned around I had reached into my bag and pulled out a packet of Tapatio. She found this odd. (A short story by Yasi Salek).

Subject: Thank You.

Dear Yasi,

I was reading the “DC Rob” post and I just want to thank you for the Fontana shout out. (it wasn’t really a shout out I realize this) But me being a Fontana native I was surprised it was even mentioned so thanks again.

p.s. Trevor Ariza is the shit

Brett D.

Wait, Fontana’s a real place?

Subject: Gosh

dear yasi,

you’re a bitch. no need to be so mean. yes, this e-mail has bad grammar and is somewhat hypocrytical, but what the fuck can ya do.

steve x

In the words of the great Dorothy Parker (who was undoubtedly called a 1000 names far worse than that), “Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you.”

Subject: your website

If you’re interested in showing up as a first page result for more search terms on google and yahoo, reply back with all addresses you’re looking to promote and the best number to contact you with details.

Sincerely,

Victor Hugo

I prefer to be a last page result.

I know who I want to take me home.

Subject: all the way from the Netherlands

Hii Yasi!

I’m a girl from the Holland..And i love love love the hundreds!
I check the site every day and ofcourse also your part on the site!
(Why doesn’t anybody ask you some questions??)
So here are my questions

1. Do you also wear TH clothes? I love the clothes but what about the ladyyyyy’s? TENS?
2. Do you have any tattoos?
3. What’s your favo 90 song?
4. Not really a question but I think your awesome LOL

lotsofliefde
R.

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Hiiii R.,

1. To be honest almost all of my clothing comes from either CULTIST or thrift stores. But I do occasionally wear some Hundreds stuff, mostly knits and hoodies for the gym. Here’s what I would be wearing if I wasn’t too lazy to go get it:

(Scotty Crewneck)

(Gator Jacket)

(Johnson Low)

2. I do.

3. That’s a very very very difficult question because all of my favorite songs came out in the 90s. How about I give you my top 5 for today (in no particular order):
-Pavement “Summer Babe (Winter Version)
-Pixies “Gigantic”*
-Ned’s Atomic Dustbin “Happy”
-The Wedding Present “Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)”
-Semisonic “Closing Time”**

*Technically this came out in 1988 but I still want it on the list because I’m in love with it and want to have 200 of its babies. And then give them all to Angelina Jolie.
**Don’t judge me, it’s a good song.

4. Thanks! I liefde you too.

xx,
Yasi

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.