December 30th, 2008
subject:Films
Dear Yasi.
As a frequent reader of your blog, and the hundreds website as well. I notice you quote quite a lot of songs and books/literature, however you don’t talk about movies anywhere near as much.
This brings me to my question, what are your favourite movies, seems fitting with bobby running all the “Best of the Best’s”.
Dyl
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Dyl,
I do love movies but I’ve never been much of a film quoter (I think that’s more of a bro thing). As with music, I have equal parts good and bad taste in movies. My favorites can easily be categorized into 6 categories:
Movies starring John Cusack
-High Fidelity
-Grosse Point Blank
-Say Anything
Quintessential 90s Movies
-Reality Bites
-Singles
-True Romance
Children’s Baseball Movies
-Angels in the Outfield
-Rookie of the Year
-Little Big League
Movies starring Bill Murray
-What About Bob?
-Groundhog Day
-The Royal Tennenbaums
Movies Generally Agreed Upon As “Good” By People Who Think They Know A Lot About Movies
-Down By Law
-Adaptation
-Breathless
-Lovers on the Bridge
-The Godfather 1
Rom Coms
-Love Actually
-Forget Paris
-Playing By Heart
I also love all Woody Allen movies (Annie Hall especially), all Mel Brooks movies (Space Balls!), Wet Hot American Summer, The Outsiders, and this great Ben Stiller/Ed Norton movie called Keeping The Faith where Stiller is a rabbi and Norton is priest and they’re best friends and hilarious hijinks ensue.
I’m sure I’m forgetting a bunch but I’ve never been very good at making favorites lists.
I don’t really remember a lot of film quotes but one of my favorites has to be from Shall We Dance (the sort of terrible American remake with Richard Gere and JLo):
“We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness’.”
(Yes, it’s cheesy. Don’t judge me).
xx,
Yasi
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
December 26th, 2008
subject: iono maybe something retrospetrical?
Yasi? Who are you? Where did you come up with your Philosophy does it take time? Or can I acquire it reading a Steven king book? Ha ha! Either way. I love THLA. Of LATH? OR LTHA? whatever. anyway. I need some type of help. yore not a helpline, or a guild line. Or a land line… Write back I hope. I hope you liveing it up, cause I’ll meet you there soon.!!! Write Back PLSZ!! woah, that was a stupid message lool!
Michael Arnold
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Michael,
From what I gather there are six different questions in that mess of misspelled words and horrible eye-puncturing unnecessary exclamation points. I’ll do my best to answer them thoroughly even though I have my doubts as to how much English you speak.
1. Yasi?
Yes?
2. Who are you?
If I knew the answer to that question I probably wouldn’t be answering these ones.
3. Where did you come up with your Philosophy?
One third experiential learning, two thirds Cosmopolitan Magazine.
4. Does it take time?
Only a quarter lifetime of bitter disappointment.
5. Or can I acquire it from a Stephen King book?
Maybe Carrie.
6. THLA. Or LATH? Or LTHA?
I don’t understand the question.
Your favorite retrospetrical guild line,
Yasi
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
December 23rd, 2008
subject: “Never say never”
After all the entires I’ve read, NEVER in a million years would the
thought of me asking you a question cross my mind…. But I guess that
quote stands true..so here I am asking you the infamous Yasi for
advice.
2 weeks ago my boyfriend of 2 years broke up and left me
pretty much devastated. He and I were in a relationship for about 9
months before he broke it off and we both went on a 5 month hiatus.
However, just as fate had it.. he came back and we started dating
again and have been going on strong until about 2 weeks ago. My
question is should I just steer clear or wait for a return?
Thanks
-H
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H,
It’s been a while since I’ve lazily started an answer with a quote, and since I found a wonderful old copy of “The Importance of Being Earnest” for $3 today, let’s celebrate with some Wilde.
“We teach people how to remember, we never teach them how to grow.”
I think the reason people tend to break up and make up with the same person ad nauseum has less to do with feelings and more to do with characteristics of the human condition. I think that generally we do not like change and fear the unknown and blah blah blah. I also think that we tend to retreat into delusion in order to cope with life because…I guess because that’s all we know how to do. Like my friend Jerry says “The oldest survival tool in the world must be euphemism. How else could we still be here?”
Another interesting thing about people is the flawed and sadistic human memory. While that devastation you felt when your boyfriend broke up with you was undoubtedly meaningful (and akin to someone with a cheese grater and anger issues trying to make a quesadilla with your heart), the moment he came back you probably forgot all about the intense and probably enduring pain you felt and jumped right back to him. Your mind chose to forget the initial hurt. However, say you two hadn’t gotten back together. Most likely your mind (sprightly bastard that it is) would have latched itself onto the memory of the hurt and thus prohibited you from entering into any new healthy relationships for an indefinite amount of time. In fact, sometimes I think the more painful memories you accumulate, the longer your mind holds on to them, because the mind develops an addiction to the pain and wants to have it always (the same way I feel about french fries). Then you turn into a weird distrustful human being that no one likes and who probably gets really into making lanyards or knitting and cries alone while watching a well-worn DVD of Forrest Gump.
Where was I? Oh yes, your boyfriend. Or ex-boyfriend. Or whatever. Look as far I have experienced, people don’t generally change that much and even though you probably love this person, there’s a reason you can’t be together for any sort of prolonged period of time. Maybe you want different things out of life, maybe one of you can’t commit, maybe a hundred other things. But unless you want to keep accumulating anguish from the next six or seven times you guys take a “hiatus,” I suggest you do this: Really think about whether or not you can see yourself actually being with this person, in a real relationship, in which you are both happy and fulfilled and making each other better people and all the other little cliches that make for good pillow embroidery and better lives. If not, maybe you should take a permanent break.
xx,
Yasi
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
December 22nd, 2008
no subject
Hey Ms. *****
you probably won’t answer this, but is Alice now going to take over your posts more often? Because she seems dope. Or you both should answer a question to hear two opinions.
But now seriously, I’m 24 and i compare myself with other people alot and it is driving me crazy. But i don’t draw comparisons about my body or so. It’s more about status and who makes more money at my age. I lay in my bed at night and think about how to make more money than the others. Is this normal or can this lead into some Patrick Bateman type of shit?? Or am i just a jealous person?
Please ignore the misspellings or grammar errors because english is not my first language, german that is.
Mark
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Note from Yasi: (I didn’t notice at first but I have to say it’s kind of creepy that you know my last name, since it’s never on here. Not that it’s difficult to find out, but still…a little creepy dude. You’re freaking me out, kids. That’s all. Here’s Alice).
Mark
Hey Mark,
I blame everything on the fact that you’re German. That’s bound to fuck you up. Don’t feel bad, I’m Australian which means I’m a slight alcoholic with a penchant for violence. Yasi’s a Jewish Muslim, and she’s a total cunt. See how easy it is to fall into stereotypes?
And yes, I am dope. Thank you for noticing.
-Al
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
December 19th, 2008
subject: I wanna go back to being weird, it’s all ive got. That and my sweet style.
Dear Yasi.
Before i start i’m going to bring to note the fact that i am british and that, within the circles i move, somewhat vulgar language is every other word. As you may have guessed by now from my attempt at some half-decent eloquence i’m trying hard not to let it seep through onto here, after reading your blog over the past months since stumbling across The Hundreds i’ve noticed to distinct lack of the sort of language i blurt out so i think i’ll try and respect that. To be quite honest i need someone to look at my situation from a completely neutral point of view. Someone who doesnt know me or know them. That’s what i’d like you to do if you’d kindly oblige. Now, to the topic at hand.
A few weeks ago i was at a party, drank two pints(one litre, do you have pints in america?), of vodka and a large bottle of apple sourz. Manly drinks of course. What followed was me vomiting in every imaginable place: my car, my cardigan, my shirt, some bushes, in a ditch and finally in a bucket. But before that occured i somehow managed to meet and make a good impression on a girl. We made each other laugh, we kissed(before the vomiting) and she looked after me. But i passed out and she left in the early hours. I woke up the next day, got some bacon and my mind started drifting back to the previous evening.
3 days after the party i bump into her. We get talking, we make each other laugh, we start seeing each other more, we go out to get drinks and we meet each others friends. As it turns out one of her friends is a girl who i had met during the summer and also hit it off with but i never saw again, as far as im concerned everything is fine. From this point onwards can we call the girl who i met in the summer “girl A” and the girl who i met more recently “girl B”? Thats fine? Good.
Three days ago i get invited to a small party with both girl A and girl B. Im outside with girl B and we’re getting close when she decides to reveal that she can’t do anything with me because her friend girl A might have feelings for me again, turns out girl A had had feelings for me after we met at the party during the summer, it was news to me aswell. But girl B doesnt want to hurt girl A.
So now im confused because to be quite honest girl A doesnt seem that interested but then again, i thought everything was normal between us so i wasnt looking at her like that. Me and girl B talk (most of which i cant remember clearly) and then we go back inside. I sit down and suddenly girl B is actually trying to get me to hook up with girl A, literally shouting at me to go get with her. I go to get some food and meet girl A in the kitchen, we talk and then we get back to the party. I lie down on one of the sofas, talking to people and girl B comes over and lies down on top of me, now for someone who just said that they cant hook up with me because they dont want to hurt their friend, lying ontop of me and hugging me infront of girl A doesnt seem to be helping the situation. Now i’m not complaining, im just thoroughly confused. They’re both damn attractive but i have no idea whats going on.
Now lets visit last night, im at a party with girl B, we’re dancing, we’re chatting and at the end of the night i said i’d wait with her in my car until her cab arrived. Its been raining and outside is muddy so i say i’ll carry her to my car. In the middle of the carrying she starts kissing the back of my neck, stroking my hair and biting my ear(not in the vicious sense obviously). Yet again im thoroughly confused seen as she aparantly cant do anything with me so she doesnt hurt girl A. But we get to my car and i figure “F#*k it.” and i go for it with her, but she pushes me away, we then sit in my car chatting for about half an hour until her cab arrives.
Now what i ask you is to look from your point of neutrality and shed some light on whats going on. Is it a thing between girl A and girl B? Maybe girl B is trying to make girl A jealous? Or is girl B actually trying to protect and help girl A but having moments where she forgets that? I would also love to hear what you think i should do. Roll with it and see what comes out of it? Or grow a pair and make a choice? Or should i just drink less at parties so i can make my own informed decisions the next day instead of just remembering fragments of what happened the night before?
-Me
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You,,
I’m sorry but your story was just too long to actually read (especially after you mentioned you were British). I tried to employ the tactics they suggest for tackling those incredibly boring critical reading passages on standardized tests, but that didn’t work either. Anyway I think I got the gist of it from the three sentences I did read, and it’s a similar situation to the dude that Alice told he had a vagina. (If she were here, she would undoubtedly tell you the same, so in her honor, I’ll say it. You have a vagina).
Anyway because I feel sort of bad about not actually reading your question, I’ll tell you this. Those two ladies have some serious issues with each other (”Heathers” was just a movie, and I’m willing to bet neither of those bitches is anywhere near Winona) and most likely none of it has to do with you. One is a pussy and the other is a cunt. They probably secretly hate each other and even more secretly hate themselves (Ah, to be young again). You’re best off ditching them both and finding yourself a nice twat.
ps I interviewed Katy Perry yesterday and she is awesome. And no we did not kiss. (Perv).
xx,
Yasi
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
