March 25th, 2008
Subject: leather tights?
hey Yasi,
i was wondering what where you wearing when i saw you taking pics at THSF… and btw, i dont know why you dont show your face because you are a cutie if i’m not being too foward or over stepping a boundary. anyways, i hope you have a great day…
styfrsh,
Rich
I’m just going to gloss over the fact that you were presumably watching me without my knowledge (which may or may not be the beginning of a beautiful restraining order) and say thank you for the kind words. Those pants are actually whale skin tights, made out of the skin of Shamu. One of the reasons I don’t show my beautiful face more is because then Peta will find me and kill me. The other reasons are confidential but I can tell you they involve aliens, Adriana Lima, and very small violins.
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
March 22nd, 2008
dear yasi,
what’s the polite way to go about telling a female she has a stinky pussy or needs to wax her lip, i tried to ask this with a little bit of courtesy but it is what it is.
yung harrison
Your question reminds me of my Saturday last weekend. Basically I went to the roller derby for my cousin’s birthday, and while I expected it to be predominately rockabilly folk, it was actually quite diverse crowd-wise. This included all sorts of people, with a rather marked population of lesbians. Long story short a large pack of gay women convinced my cousins and I to go to a bar downtown with them. Now these were not L Word type hot lesbians (hi shane I love you) but more the Fed-Ex truck driver kind (one was actually a Fed-Ex truck driver). We’re hanging out and playing pool when one of the lezzies (who was easily 6′2″ and wearing man jeans and a wife beater) asked if she could buy me a drink. I was like “um, I’m ok.” Then she got in my face so close that I could see all the hair on her face (and there was plenty) and said “let me buy you a drink.” So I said “um, ok, how about a vodka soda” in a very small voice and she came back and handed me the drink. Then I took one sip and nearly barfed because it was vodka tonic and quanine makes me gag but she was like 4 inches away and staring so I drank the whole thing and said “mmmm.” Anyway I’m not sure what that story has to do with your question but I can still taste the tonic and see her whiskers in my nightmares.
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
March 14th, 2008
Subject: Yo Yasi Nice Assi
u like that one?
today was the first time i even saw ur section, the photo booth.. usually i just read thru bobbys blog, which is fuckin awesome. im not quite sure who u are, but i wanted to ask u a question..
do you ever see any hot girls into the hundreds or any streetwear?? i didnt see none in the photo booth.. why do u think that is? i guess most hot grls like expensive shit, not streetwear.
jasin
ps why do folks even bother huh
Jasin,
There are so many errors (both grammatical and reality-based) in your question that I’m not going to bother correcting you. Here is a logical breakdown:
Technically, if you want to split hairs, I am into both the Hundreds and “streetwear,” since I have a column on this site and allegedly, a women’s online store that carries streetwear (amongst other things). And since it goes without saying (or it would have if I wasn’t about to say it) that I am unbelievably good-looking (not to mention intelligent, charming, and modest), that sort of shoots your silly little theory down. Also, I’m not sure if you’re familiar with statistics at all, but by using the Hundreds photo booth as your only source of information when testing your hypothesis, you are in fact creating a sampling error because your sample base is not only too small but also tainted by voluntary bias. It’s my humble (yet correct) opinion that the best kind of girl mixes streetwear with “expensive shit” and creates a personal style that is balanced and pleasing to the eye. To see examples of such perfection, please consult www.cultistshop.com for evidence.
To answer your second question, I’m not sure about other folks, but I try to choose a new reason to live every day. A lot of days the best I can come up with is Maker’s Mark and Family Guy, but today it is advanced anagramming: http://wordsmith.org/anagram/advanced.html. (You’re welcome).
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
March 6th, 2008
My question is.. who are you?
-Michael Simbulan
Oscar Wilde once said “Only the shallow know themselves.” The fact that I quote Oscar Wilde should clue you in to the fact that I am somewhat pretentious (it’s true). But at the risk of sounding less than deep, here’s a little bit about me. (Or maybe it’s about someone else. You’ll probably never know).
When I wrote this column for Vapors, someone asked me the same question and I gave them a faux personals ad. Since I am not only shallow but also lazy, here is an updated version.
Single Persian Female: Taurus. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark demeanor. Pretty much only wears black (on the outside, because…). Has many allergies. Enjoys whiskey, Law and Order, reading the thesaurus, burritos, Woody Allen films, the music of Pavement, and self-deprecation. Has an affinity for the word wry . Dislikes flan, Peter Pan collars, and sincerity. Sort of a weirdo. And despite all appearances to the contrary, a really nice person.
In conclusion,
“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
-Dorothy Parker
(I know, not one but two literary quotes. Gross).
By the way Mike, who the hell are you?
***Because without context the title sounds way emo, it’s from a Who song. Get it? No? Cool.
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
