Recently my boyfriend and I have been having problems. It’s basically the same thing over and over again. I want him to change and now he thinks I’m controlling. I just want what’s best for him and with that said, spending time with me instead of his low life friends should be great! I mean c’mon! I keep him outta jail! Now, I’VE compromised and gave him space but he’s not doing anything to better our relationship. What should I do? (Oh and breaking up is not an option. I’ve come too far to throw this shit down.)

-Christine

Dear Christine,

Let me preface this by saying thank you for helping to ensure that every man remains deathly afraid of commitment. Without you carrying the torch for crazy oppressive girlfriends everywhere, we might lose the rad, wonderful women to well-adjusted relationships. Now that I’m out of barbs, let me try to answer your question with a series of questions (Socrates would be proud).

1. Why do you want to be with this person if he’s not up to your standards (whatever those may be)?
2. Don’t you want a boyfriend you don’t have to “control”?
3. How old are you? (Because you’re probably too old to be wasting precious firm-skin years on some lost cause that you cannot let go).

I don’t know you Christine but I can tell you this, there is someone out there for you who will adore your psychotic tendencies and who will never want “space” (dude, some girl even married Bobby). And one of life’s ever annoying truisms is this: you can’t change anyone. Ever. Under no circumstances. And it is my (however naive and ever hopeful) belief that if you don’t love someone inclusive of their defects, then you don’t really love them at all. So…keep it moving.

E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.

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