February 28th, 2010
Subject: The East
Hello Yasi, hope all is well.
I was gonna ask your opinion on the situation in the middle east. Now as a solider myself, along with some others out here, we feel like we’re fighting for naught. Our homies are dying on the battle field for nothing more than a political foothold in a war torn country, that at any moment is capable of implosion. It’s always good to get an outside opinion when all you hear is the same rhetoric bullshit. Thanks for your time miss.
J
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First off let me say that while I may not be in favor of this war or any other, I respect and admire the risk you and your fellow soldiers are taking to be out there. And I apologize in advance for the convoluted, literary quote heavy non-answer that is to follow.
Truth be told, I think it’s much more important what you think about what you are doing over there. As far as I’m concerned (and at the risk of sounding like Deepak Chopra or something) there is not a whole lot that is objective in this world, and it is our perceptions that shape our universe. I myself don’t support the war (or any war really, however naive that may be), but then I will be the first to admit that I don’t have a full and complete understanding of what is at stake, what is to be gained and what is to be lost, and what the implications of it all are. I don’t think anybody does. But that’s not what drives the war: it is differing perceptions.
Anais Nin once said “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” What I believe to be the truth is ultimately only that: a belief. When the belief is isolated (like a schizophrenic who believes his phones are tapped by the government), it’s considered crazy. When hundreds of thousands or millions of people share the same belief, it becomes much more “real.” But ultimately my perception doesn’t change anything (and after this post I might be lumped with the schizos on the sanity tip). We go by our perceptions because that’s what we have to guide us, but as William Blake said ““If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is – infinite.”
I’m sure that was absolutely unhelpful. I do what I can. Good luck out there.
xx,
Yasi
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
February 26th, 2010
Subject: New Found Glory
A little while ago you were wondering if people no longer care about your thoughts on New Found Glory… so since they’re currently touring with Saves The Day (talk about an emo/pop punk reunion), what are your thoughts on the band? Any comments on Ian’s stomach would be great as well.
David
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Oh for the love of god. I don’t have thoughts on New Found Glory. That shitty band never crosses my blissful mind, or it didn’t until you sent me this email and ruined that for me. And because I would now like to evict them and their stretched ear holes from my brain, I’m going to change the subject.
I suppose we’re talking about music so let’s go with that. I’m a weird old grandma when it comes to new music, as in I’m more likely than not completely unaware of its existence. In the car I only listen to NPR and two other stations, KDAY (which only plays old school hip-hop, and has been very heavy on the Ice Cube tip lately) and Jack FM (which will play the Talking Heads followed by the Gin Blossoms followed by Heart which is pretty perfect to me). Otherwise I listen to my favorites (Pavement, The Pixies, Sonic Youth, etc) or my Pandora stations (Pavement radio, Pixies radio, Sonic Youth radio etc). I am the equivalent of the parents who are bummed they just don’t make music like the Beatles anymore.
Every now and again I take a foray into the land of Pitchfork and it-bands and (because I am ornery) usually come up short. I finally listened to The XX, which I found pleasant yet also liked much better when it was called Portishead. I like Animal Collective, I guess. Sort of. I love Bon Iver, The Soft Pack, Moonrats, Warpaint, and this band called Pearl Harbor, soft fuzzy dream pop made by two sisters (one of whom is 15). I find noise music perplexing. And I am completely, totally, and fully on team Gaga. I know I will get hate mail for saying that but it can’t be any worse than the letter I received about my first published piece of writing in the Santa Barbara Independent (I gave Down With Love a bad review and an elderly gentleman wrote in to tell me I was bitter, jaded, and had no idea what true love was. This may be true sir, but it does not make the film any better).
I know I’ve mentioned this but it bears repeating: Hanni El Khatib rules. I haven’t been into any new hip-hop (sorry Drake) but Alice put me on to this Taylor Swift/Usher song and it’s pretty wonderful.
Last but not least, my friend Rachel makes secret beautiful music that she refuses to let anyone hear, and the world is worse off for it.
xx,
Yasi
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
February 21st, 2010
Subject: i actually do have a question, and i want your take on it
Yasi
I’ve completely fallen head over heels for my girlfriend. As much as I
love her and want to show her, she insists that I don’t do anything for her birthday which is soon approaching. Now, my instinct is telling me that she’s only saying this to be nice, when in reality, she actually does want something, although this will never be revealed. Now I would assume that you’d suggest that I go to one of her friends and ask them what she would expect, but the problem is that I’m currently attending a single-sex school and she just moved to Los Angeles a little over a year ago, so she doesn’t quite have that many friends, and I don’t feel comfortable enough with them to ask. So since you’ve said that you haven’t quite received any questions with merit recently, here’s my dilemma. Hopefully, your insight guides me in the right direction seeing as how fucking retarded of a boyfriend I am that I’ve resorted to this.
-R
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R,
I’m not sure what help I can be since I’ve never been much for the coy “No no don’t you dare make a big deal out of Christmas” with actual subtext being “jewelry would be nice, gold is preferable but silver with a nice gemstone will suffice.” Although I think it is an art in and of itself and that I really should learn it. I’ll take a stab at helping though, since I’m the charitable sort.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that she probably wants you to do something for her birthday. But let’s examine all the options.
A) You listen to her, and do nothing. Likelihood of her getting angry? Definitely a possibility. This is a very risky strategy.
B) You don’t listen to her, and get her a present or take her to dinner or whatever. Likelihood of her getting angry? Low.
Birthdays, for whatever reason, are the one day of the year that human beings, who are naturally selfish creatures, grow even more self-centered. Even worse, it’s as if one’s entire self worth rests on the outcome of this day. Bad birthdays leave scars that last for years. Take, for example, my 16th birthday, which was the day before prom, which meant none of my friends were willing or able to hang out (I loathed them anyway). My parents were on vacation in Greece, but they had been nice enough to leave me an ice cream cake. Unfortunately our freezer was too strong and the cake was frozen rock solid so I spent my sweet sixteen in front of the TV alone hacking away at a mint chocolate chip stone. Not that I remember it that well.
Anyway the moral of that story is that yes, you should do something for your girlfriend. I don’t advise surprise parties because those can inexplicably end in tears (not that I remember that well) but I think a nice dinner at one of her favorite restaurants and some sort of gift (I don’t know your girlfriend that well but I would love THIS WHOLE KIT) will make her happy and you laid. Good luck.
xx,
Yasi
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
February 17th, 2010
Subject: Asking Yasi
Hey!
Valentine’s day is approaching quickly, my girlfriend of three years says she didn’t get me anything because it’s a “girls” holiday. I think that’s completely bogus. Also me and all my boy’s have come to a conclusion that all females are absolutely crazy, and they get even crazier around there periods, birthdays, jewish/federal holidays, etc. etc. So how do you feel about it?
Richard Dorime
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I should note (although I think it’s fairly obvious) that this email was received a few days before Feb. 14th.
It’s always interesting to me the way different people interpret the (as I see it) fairly innocuous holiday of Valentine’s Day. The better part of single girls seem to hate it with the vitriol that is normally reserved for international feuds (see Israel/Palestine). It’s as if Valentine’s Day snuck into their houses while they were sleeping, placed Nair in their shampoo bottles, murdered their cats, then took scissors to all their Coach purses. On this day, women band together and purchase copious amounts of baked goods or hit up the local Cabo Cantina, order the biggest pitcher of margaritas and all the fried carbs (mmm taquitos) on the menu, and drunkenly show how independent they really are, girlfriend (throw your hands up at me).
Even better, they call it names. “Fake holiday.” “Bullshit.” “Capitalist construct” (that last one was mine). One could argue that St. Patrick’s Day holds about as much merit holiday-wise as Valentine’s Day, but you don’t see people taking to the internet to hurl insults at March 17th and its traditions of wearing green and getting wasted on green beer. This resentment is reserved especially for poor St. Valentine, who as far as I can tell was just some martyred priest/bishop with little mythology until Chaucer decided he had something to do with love. Way to go, Chaucer.
For those women in relationships (such as your girlfriend), more often than not, this holiday is one of expectations. They expect (and DESERVE, goddamnit) some impersonal combination of the following: carnations, assorted chocolates in heart-shaped tin, stuffed mouse clutching red velvet heart that says “I love you” in squeaky mouse voice when pressed, tacky lingerie, dinner at Olive Garden/PF Changs/nicest local Italian restaurant in your neighborhood.
As for men, I can’t really say this with complete accuracy but it’s my guess that at best they’re indifferent to V-Day and at worst they abhor it (see: expectations of girlfriend).
And as for me (which is, I think, where the question lay) when I was younger I was definitely among the “whatever, let’s get wasted” variety but in recent years it just doesn’t register all that much. This year I worked out, spent the day with a few friends at the flea market, had dinner and some wine at my aunt’s house with various family members, then played rummy with my cousins while eating cake. It was altogether satisfying.
Oh and in regards to your “all females are crazy,” I won’t deny that nor will I go on to malign men on some completely sitcom-worthy “Mars/Venus” shit. It’s just too boring.
xx,
Yasi
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
February 16th, 2010
Subject: A contradiction
Yasi,
(This might turn out to be a wall of text but I promise its not a rant or a scolding. Its not me preaching this or that its just me telling it how I see it and how i know it to be. Im not forcing anything upon you im just presenting the information I know for fact and letting you come to a decision on your own. I give you my word that I cut this down to as minimal as possible but at the same time so you can get a grasp of my perspective and how i view things while getting some facts. Its a huge picture and it was so much information i literally had to take bits n pieces. If you read it all you’ll understand everything I just said lol)
I saw your response to the Illuminati question. Your thoughts about not pondering on the state of our reality because knowing or not knowing these things will not change it at 1st seemed very logical and almost ingenious. But then I took a step back and thought about it. I disagree. The true Illuminati situation shouldn’t pose fear in anyone because there is nothing to truly fear in life, but it should be known, but for you to understand I think I should give you my opinion on how its going down: While it may not affect our daily running and how we operate, it will change our view on reality and our perspectives on life. Someone who leads a privileged life with minimal worries wont have the same view on life as someone who has had to struggle for everything they have. We are all technically crazy because no one person experiences life the same way. Its literally impossible. We may have similar views and thoughts might be shared but everyone has their own take on it, making reality nothing but a composition of mass views, 1 big Kaleidoscope. That being said, Its very possible for people to walk around in a blind daze, so absorbed in their own world that they are ignorant to the worlds around them, which is ironic because those worlds have a huge impact upon their own being. You see this all the time with people who have a apathy towards politics and history. Ironic because it is these things that affect us the most, not what shoes we wear or how our swag is on point. Im no mindless babbler of lies or conspirator, ive actually done my research about this I know what im talking about when I say its more severe than we all know. The bible tells us that in the end times we will walk around in mass deceit unknowning of the evil at hand. If you take time look past all of our superficial workings and just look at the state of the world, we’ve been in mass deceit for a while now. Most people only see the puppet but you’ve got to look past that and see the one pulling the strings, Have you ever noticed that both political parties have almost the exact same agenda but they just have different ways of accomplishing it? Or that when a politician gets elected into office most of what he promises is neglected and things continue to take the same course? More bluntly stated the political parties just appeal to different people and do the same thing. Well who runs the political parties? Who funds the politicians who become our “leaders”? The upper tier 2% rich super rich families protecting their intrests who essentially use the politicians as puppets. Well if the rich families fund the politicians, who are these families? Rocefeller, Morgan, Kennedy, these upper crust elitiest families plus many more who have ties within the skull n bones fraternity. In 2000 Kerry v Bush had alot of controversy because both of them were members of the skull n bones fraternity, and anyone who knows about the skull n bones knows that their members become extreamly close, almost like brothers. They dont care if Brother A or Brother B gets elected, as long as they have someone in office. If you do your research you’ll find that most of the most powerful men in America from CEO’s to Generals are Skull n Bones. But theres still a bigger picture. Its covered in the mainstream media (because they own it) but all these people are Illumanati, the 13 satanic bloodlines. in order they are the Astors, the Bundy, the Collins, Dupont, the Freeman, the Kennedy, the Li, the Onassis, the Reynolds, the Rockefeller, the Rothschild, the Russel, and the Van Duyn. You also have interconnected families n sublines n things like that but its a massive thing and I wont type it all out at once. Im sure some of these names seem familiar but ill get down to the point. They own the Media so they can distribute whatever news they want to the masses (Not all of it but they own CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Those large ones. Other news sources like NPR are neutral, they dont own them) They puppet the politicians and came up with a ficticious system, capitalism is all about greed and power and abusal of the system (im not a communist either thats the other extream end of the spectrum). I could go on and on all day about the references but I wont cause i know your tired of reading and im tired of typing, but closing this up question the things you do in your life, and ask yourself “why?” Im no fanatic but I do know that the Bible speaks truth, its just people dont know how to truly read it. dont look at it so literally, its a book of similies and metaphors, compare it to your reality and how the world truly is, research, and Im sure you’ll come to understand the state of things.
Its 1 thing to ponder the things that we cant change and wont effect us….its another to think about a possible truth so we can all work together for a better tomorrow. I think you’re wrong. This should be out in the open and discussed by those who actually know whats going on and researched by those who dont. Lets get the word out.
Platonic Love,
AJ
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And then there’s that.
xx,
Yasi
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
