Hello, it is I, Nood Leon, with a romantic query for you, Miss Ask Yasi. Please do tell me, what do you think of this as a most perfect first date: A wrought iron table and chairs tucked cozily into a beautiful garden veranda (think lush greenery, such as ivy and spanish moss). One hundred white candles (french vanilla scent). Soft music from a trio of violinists (perhaps Vivaldis “Le quattro stagioni”?) and giant bouquet of white gardenias beside the lady’s chair. And the clincher: a five course meal, with wine accompaniment. First course, Antipasto Ramen Salad (Top Ramen, black olives, various Italian meats) with a glass of pinot noir. Second course, Seafood Cup Noodles with a glass of chardonnay. Third Course, Ramen Noodle Alfredo with a glass of shiraz. Fourth course, Chocolate Ramen Fondue with a glass of sherry. Fifth course, ME!!! (Also there is a potential intermission between the third and fourth courses in which I put on my boombox and do a dance for the lucky lady. I have attached a video of my moves for your perusal.)
Does that sound like an idyllic evening or what? And would you like to join me for it?
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Leon,
Wow. Clearly you have put some thought into this, and while I applaud your attention to detail, I have to respectfully decline. And not just because I found the above video so disturbing I couldn’t eat for three hours after watching. (Your Twitter is pretty funny though). Aside from the fact that I, am in fact, gluten intolerant and thus could not partake in any of your Top Ramen/Cup Noodle culinary delights, I have a few other issues with your “perfect date.” As a general rule, I don’t find the typical notion of “romance” appealing. Candlelight and soft music smack of contrived drivel, and the scent of french vanilla kind of grosses me out. This is not to say that I am the kind of girl who thrives off of being mistreated by men (although it’s not to say that I’m not, either). I watch rom coms. I know the Truth about Cats and Dogs. I know what the contents of The Notebook are. I own 27 Dresses. I know what love is.
All I’m saying is that in my world, a perfect date is dinner at a cozy diner or a delicious Mexican restaurant, followed by drinks at a dive bar where the DJ plays a mix of Poison, Prince, and Morrissey en espanol. In fact the guy that whisks me off to Red Lobster on the first date probably holds the key to my cold, dark, seafood loving heart (especially if he lets me order french fries AND mashed potatoes). So, while I am sort of intrigued, I have to respectfully decline. Your eyebrows are kind of hot though.
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
Yasi- I’ve been reading the “back issues” of the blog and one entry after you tore someone a new asshole for talking about selling out, the title was “We Hate it When Our Friends Become Successful” I just wanted to commend you for your knowledge of good ska music!
My question is somewhat odd but intriguing to me. In you tween, teen, and current years, do you feel that the social interactions of yourself and your friends changed a lot? Do you think you lost a lot of friends from high school until now?
Thanks for reading, keep up the awesome blog and cynical awesomeness!
Dan
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Dan,
Oh fuck, dude, I don’t listen to ska music. (Are there still people who do? Maybe Bobby). That’s a line from a Morrissey song. So please take your commendation back.
That aside, your question is a pretty good one. Of course my interactions are different from when I was (as you so charmingly put it) a “tween.” Let me break it down for you. When I was in middle school, I was so beyond ugly and angsty that my interactions were awkward at best but more often than not flat out painful. Somewhere between then and college I stopped hating myself and started hating everyone else. In college I was fucked up most of the time so I don’t really remember what my interactions were like. (I’m sure they were charming). And now, I don’t have many interactions because I’m an ornery old lady.
To answer your question more explicitly, I wouldn’t say I have lost many friends since then. More like I’ve misplaced them. People grow up and change, and some people change a lot. Worse, some people don’t change at all. And it takes time to know who you are. Fuck even now I don’t totally know, but I know a little better than when I was 18 or so. You do your best to maintain relationships but sometimes it just doesn’t work out like that. Then there are friends that you can not talk to for a year, but when you do, it’s like not a day has passed. And there are friends that even when your interests and lifestyles sort of diverge, you can find yourself sitting in a bathtub together (in Halloween costumes, perv) talking about life for a few hours. My take on friendship is that it should (for the most part) be a relatively natural thing. If you have to push it too hard it’s probably not worth it.
Again that might have been tangential but I’m too tired from covering myself in blood last night to delve into this further.
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
Yasi- you’re really a minority. thinking back to the lilith fair and the numerous times i’ve seen skeezoids freaking to the shittiest songs in da club, it seems that girls probably don’t have the best taste in music. but that’s where you’re different. a year ago you hip me to the band Pavement, and i feel like i’ve been cool since, thanks boo. so questions for yasi…
do you think girl’s musical taste is generally inferior to us?
i hear Pavement is scheduled for a brief reunion next year…do you think they will sound as good as they did when i first heard them substance free?
btw…the pop concept that you do too is crack and the good peoples in philly are like whats up with the dodgers fans just sitting there stale, like they dont give a fuck that their losing, thought of you.
I don’t really see how you can blame something like the fucking Lilith Fair on an entire sex. For every Dixie Chicks there is an equal amount of Nickleback, David Grey, Fall Out Boy and other shitty fucking music created by men. Bad taste in music is equal opportunity, so don’t give me some bullshit about how girls have inferior taste. Just go google Patti Smith, Kim Deal, Kelly Deal, Kim Gordon, Delta 5, The Slits, PJ Harvey, Poly Styrene, Siouxie, Penelope Houston, and about 50 million more I don’t feel like listing. (But you’re welcome for Pavement).
As for the rest of your email (and I’m genuinely trying not to be a bitch here) but I don’t really understand what it is you’re asking me. Are you asking if pavement sounds better to you when you are fucked up? Because even in my infinite knowledge, I don’t know the answer to this question. I could spend the rest of this paragraph speculating the other potential meanings of your question but I have important things to do. Like drinking my delicious pumpkin spice latte in the domo cup from 7-11 and writing haiku about the Indigo Girls.
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
Yasi, In reading your blog, I’ve noticed that you’re always mentioning your tastes in literature and music, but what about the visual side of things? Who is your favorite visual artist? (if you have one, I know not everybody gets down with that type of stuff)
I guess I reference literature and music most because I am enamored by words (which in music translates into lyrics).
But that doesn’t mean I don’t like visual art (I can see after all). I don’t pretend to know much about art but I do know what I like. In terms of older artists, Egon Schiele is probably my favorite. He worked mostly with nudes, and his grotesque, distorted view of the human figure is reflective of his views on sex and death. I also love Aubrey Beardsley, the illustrator who illustrated (amongst other things) many of Oscar Wilde’s works. In terms of contemporary artists, I love Barry McGee, Mark Ryden, and Miss Van. I also like Matt Furie, Meryl Smith, and Vanessa Prager . I love Ed Templeton (especially his 3D stuff with the word ribbons). In terms of photography, Rick Rodney is amazing, and so are Angela Boatwright , Amy Stein, and Shaniqwa Jarvis.
Also, everyone needs to check out Gino Hollander because he is fucking incredible.
I’m sure there are more but I can’t think of them at the moment so that’ll have to do. I’m sure you are unconvinced that I am at all an aesthete which is ok because I’m really not.
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
Dear Yasi, I am new to reading your blog, so I’m sure this question has been answered by one of the other idiotic people who spend at least a few hours a day checking The Hundreds blog like myself (mainly for the homepage and The Feed sections)… but how in God’s name did you get your own blog on The Hundreds web site? No disrespect intended, just wondering how any of what you seem to talk about has anything to do with a streetwear brand or if it has any right to be up on such a highly-read blog.
But, as I said, I’m sure this question has been previously answered. I’m just really fucking confused.
Before I answer your question and make you less confused, I need to address some things about your email that I am confused about. You spend a few HOURS a day checking the Hundreds site? A few hours EVERY DAY? Do you read very very slowly? Are you without job, friends, girlfriend, school, magazines, television, or hobbies? Do you jerk off to Bobby’s tantalizing photos of the new Hundreds footwear? Do you jerk off to Bobby himself? Because outside of that I can’t see anything that would warrant spending hours a day perusing a street wear site. This is not CNN.com. There is no breaking news here.
Second, I’m not really sure what God would have to do with the decision making process regarding who gets a blog on this glorious site. I guess he has as much free time as you do.
I do realize that my section may not be as stimulating or intriguing as a real time account of limited edition whatever the fuck t-shirt collaborations or what super cool new Bearbrick just “dropped” and trust me I do not find my own writing even remotely interesting. So please know I am extremely humbled and grateful to be gifted with the great privilege of answering the moronic and often demented questions of grown men who spend a bulk of their disposable income on t-shirts and collect toys. I am undeserving and because of that spend my nights flogging myself with (uber exclusive) Supreme baseball bats. Please thank your all powerful “God” for me.
E-mail Yasi your question at AskYasi@thehundreds.com. There is absolutely no guarantee she will answer your question, but at least you can tell your friends you talked to a girl.
